


The Afterlife

by ClothesBeam



Category: Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z
Genre: M/M, Multiverse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-02-15 06:28:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2219265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClothesBeam/pseuds/ClothesBeam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Vegeta's abnormally long life finally expires, he is contracted to defend the universe with Goku.<br/>And he's just in time for <i>another</i> interdimensional disaster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dead and Gone?

**Author's Note:**

> GT doesn’t exist to me. The Episode of Bardock does. An older version of this can be found at my account on fanfiction.net.

Vegeta stared down at his hands and turned them over a few times. He didn’t feel that different. In fact, he felt a lot like the last time he had died. Except this time there was no going back.

Dementia was what had got him in the end. Now that he could think clearly, he was somewhat ashamed of this. But if he had died in battle, he would have just been wished back again, so he had to accept it to be as fitting an end as any.

He was the only person with a solid body that he could see in the extensive line. To his surprise, this distance was much further and clearer than when he had died. He felt as he wished to, which was late thirties: the prime of a Saiyan. Perhaps he would make it upstairs this time?

It was impossible to estimate the passage of time here. All he knew was that he had been standing patiently in line for far too long. You’d think with all eternity to figure things out; the system would be better organised.

Vegeta was bored so far out of his brains that it was almost a relief when someone he knew showed up. Of course it was just the moron, who else in their right mind would come visit him? He had outlived his wife and children, but they wouldn’t have the ability to run about the extensive afterlife as they pleased.

“I thought it was your Ki I sensed! How are you, Vegeta?” Kakarrot grinned and scratched the back of his head. He wasn’t technically dead, and his lack of halo was conspicuous. He was more of a minor god, or patron saint of living with brain damage. Something like that…

Vegeta sniffed. “Pretty well dead. And you?” He felt a twinge when he saw Kakarrot had his tail back. He wondered if his would grow back in time, too.

“Hmm? Oh, not much has been going on lately. I visit my family sometimes, and I’ve been training to protect the universe of course, but not much in the way of excitement.”

“At least you’re not stuck waiting in line. If I’m going to hell again, I’d rather just get it over and done with!” he exclaimed. What little patience he had was already wearing thin.

“What? No, actually I asked if you could be like me. As long as you defend the universe when needed, they’ll agree. I thought you’d get bored in heaven, and hell is pretty horrible.” He laughed briefly before continuing. “Well, Piccolo likes it better over there. But he’s the strongest person there at the moment, so it’s no fun anyway.”

Not for the first time in his life, Vegeta was taken aback by the kindness Goku showed him, especially since he didn’t exactly reciprocate. “Thanks Kakarrot, I guess,” he replied grudgingly, wondering what kind of favours he had had to call in.

A look of surprise briefly crossed his face before he smiled and nodded. “Hey look, we’re nearly there!” he pointed out. One of the guide demons was sidling along the edge of the line, apparently trying to get to them.

“There you are Goku! Lord Enma said he wants to, uh, ‘get this Vegeta thing over and done with.’ So it would be best if you would follow me,” he called as he got closer, clutching his clipboard.

“Ok!” Goku answered, grabbing Vegeta’s forearm as they sidled through and around the crowd of souls. He didn’t exactly approve of this manhandling, but anything that meant getting out of here faster was fine by him right now.

“Next!” Enma boomed. He looked slightly ticked off, as usual.

“Hi!” Goku called up casually as they entered.

The giant squinted down at them and sighed. “You Saiyans again? Just sign the contract and get out of my way,” he grumbled, causing a few sheets of gigantic paper and a pen taller than Vegeta to drop to the floor in front of them. “Next!”

Vegeta flew into the air so that the extremely large print could be read more easily. It was short and to the point. Don’t cause trouble, defend any quadrant of the universe as required and don’t ally with anyone from the dark universe. He took a manageable pen from their guide’s clipboard and wrote his name on the line, which was comically small.

As he did this, he felt something within him shift slightly. He felt alive again and ready for battle. All of his old injuries had been healed, including the scars that Frieza et al had left to him. But more importantly, his tail had grown back of its own accord. He ripped the spandex a little to allow it to move around freely. But he could feel it was relatively weak and untrained, so he kept it wrapped around his waist for now.

“Now what?” he asked of Kakarrot, since no one else seemed to care about them anymore.

“Um… What do you wanna do? We can go to heaven and see everyone, or hell to fight old enemies. I met some Saiyans down there, too. Or we could go exploring. I know a few places we can go to spar.”

The amount of suggestions made Vegeta realise how great a favour Kakarrot had given him. They were pretty well free to do whatever they wanted until duty called. Yet, he didn’t particularly feel like facing anyone yet, neither friend nor foe.

“I know Bulma will try to kill me again if she finds out I chose this over her, but I haven’t fought in so long…”

Goku grinned at that. “I won’t tell if you don’t. Here, there’s this place that looks kind of like planet Vegeta. Dad wanders around there sometimes, so we should be able to instant transmission,” he said, holding out his arm and bringing his other hand to his forehead.

“We’re going to hell?” he asked, placing his hand on the oaf’s proffered forearm.

“Sort of, this is more on the outskirts. I think it’s actually a part of limbo. He died unconventionally, so no one really knows what to do with him. Something about dying before he was born, even though that kind of time travel is supposed to be impossible when mortal,” Goku said, before the scenery suddenly changed to rocky desert land.

“Kakarrot?” an unfamiliar voice asked. However, the accent was unmistakeably that of a low-class Saiyan.

“Just me again… sorry to bother you,” he replied, heading in another direction.

Bardock nodded and looked at Vegeta. He frowned and looked away. He tugged on the red bandanna held in his hands as if contemplating something. Eventually he seemed to decide on this something and walked in the opposite direction to them, tail flicking around almost lazily. They heard him mutter, “How did I die?” before they were out of earshot.

“Ok, this should be far enough,” Goku eventually said. Vegeta could tell he was more preoccupied by his father’s Ki than what was in front of him.

“No abusing my tail,” he reminded, wrapping it around himself more firmly. He powered up slowly, getting used to the exhilarating sensation again.

“As long as you don’t touch mine! I know you said it can be trained, but I don’t know about that…” Goku replied, patiently waiting for Vegeta. He wasn’t going to power up at all himself. It would only be a matter of time before they could face each other again properly, and he knew that right now Vegeta still had the mindset of a relatively frail old man.

“I’ll show you later,” he grunted as he finally changed into the first stage of Super Saiyan. He experimentally threw a ball of Ki at the other man, which hit him squarely in the chest.

Goku put his hands behind his head and laughed it off. “Let me know when you’re ready to get serious.”

“Shut up, Kakarrot,” came the predictable response. The dolt’s strength was more terrifying than usual. “At least my aim isn’t off.”

“How’s your hand to hand?” he asked, and phased in front of the other Saiyan. He put in a single punch, which was easily blocked, but the retaliation seemed extremely slow to him.

They persisted like this until they were both sweaty and hungry enough to stop. Vegeta had improved rapidly until he had achieved some semblance of his old self, but Goku was far beyond that level now. While Vegeta had been growing old and dying, Goku had been training non-stop.

“Do you want to take a bath? There’s not much to eat in Otherworld other than a weird kind of rice, but there’s plenty of it if you know where to look,” Goku asked as he walked up to Vegeta, who was sitting on the ground and trying to recover his breath.

“Yes, a bath. How do I sweat when I haven’t had anything to drink for the past however long?”

Goku shrugged. “It’s easy to make whatever you want here. Maybe you expect to be sweating, so you are? Anyway, there’s a bath house just over there. I think my dad may have thought it up. Maybe he thought up this whole place!”

They flew over slowly and landed beside a couple of stools and a few shower heads. There was a hot spring hidden in a rock formation. Vegeta began to question the plumbing, but eventually decided to just leave it. The place made about as much sense as anything else around here.

Goku grabbed the wooden tub that was sitting near the taps and shower heads. He stripped down and put his clothes into it. “Here, we can wash our clothes as well,” he said, plonking it down next to Vegeta before turning to take down one of the shower heads to fill the tub with water.

Given his own history, Vegeta was a little more hesitant about displays of nudity, especially around those he knew to be his superior in strength. It felt like he was revealing a weakness. But this was Kakarrot, mostly harmless and completely oblivious. He faced away from him as he changed and threw his spandex and gloves over his shoulder.

He heard Kakarrot retrieve it without complaint. The full tub was pushed to the side and Goku sat down next to him before spraying the freezing water over both of them. Vegeta shivered and distinctly felt the hair on the back of his neck and tail stand on end.

Goku sighed, pleased by the reprieve. “Isn’t that better? I’m _still_ acclimatised to Earth so I always feel the heat here.”

“So am I, but that is freaking freezing!” he complained and turned away more. He didn’t want to be looked at right now.

“Well, there’s another one over there, you can make it a temperature you’re happy with,” he said and moved away so that his water wouldn’t splash all over the uncomfortable prince.

They both decided to pass on the hot spring and their hunger had, surprisingly, dissipated. Goku yawned loudly and put his underwear back on. Their underpants were the only pieces of clothing that had dried completely.

“No, I don’t know why I still have the urge to sleep, either,” he put in before Vegeta could comment. “There’s a safe place I like to stay, I’ve managed to make a house and everything. It’s still in limbo, I think, but it’s a bit closer to heaven than this place.”

Vegeta nodded. He still felt extremely exposed, but his paranoia was abating a little since Kakarrot hadn’t done anything so far. He picked up their damp clothes and held them in front of him like a shield before placing his hand on Kakarrot’s arm again.

They were inside a tiny Earth-style house that consisted of a bedroom, toilet and basic kitchen area. “Here, I’ll hang the clothes around the place so they’ll dry properly. There’s another sheet in there somewhere. The futon is probably already out,” he babbled on, taking the clothes.

Vegeta slid the indicated door open to reveal a small room, most of which was taken up by a futon. He pulled apart the nest of bedclothes until he had separated the two sheets. Goku sat down beside him and laughed sheepishly. “I never really get around to cleaning anything up,” he admitted.

“I can see that,” Vegeta replied, wrapping himself up in a sheet. He instantly felt better for having done so.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, leaning in as if to inspect him more closely. “What are you so uncomfortable about?”

Vegeta leaned back instinctively. “I just have problems, alright? You’re stronger than me, I’m practically naked… this kind of situation never exactly has a rosy finish, in my experience.”

“I guess I can sorta see why you kept insisting I kill people back then.” Goku replied, looking concerned. “But you know I’d never do anything like that.” He absent-mindedly scratched the base of Vegeta’s tail, which earned him a whack on the back of the offending hand.

Vegeta cleared his throat. “Just _don’t…_ ”

“Did you just… purr?” Goku asked in astonishment. It seemed his instincts had led him to console Vegeta. He vaguely remembered doing something similar to Gohan when he was small.

“ _No,_ ” he vehemently denied. But it was useless.

“Ok, ok, I’ll leave you in peace. Sleep well,” he said, shuffling over to one side of the futon and curling up on his side. A giggle escaped his frame a moment later and Vegeta punched him in the floating ribs.

“Shut up, that was a perfectly normal response… not that you’d know.”

* * *

 

Vegeta groaned as he woke. He was hurting from yesterday, but it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. It wasn’t as though he’d been injured; his body was just unused to working so hard. It had been years since he’d done anything like that.

He turned to see Kakarrot lying on his stomach. He was spread out, but was also consciously giving him room, so most of his limbs were on the floor. Except his tail, Vegeta noted with sudden clarity that their tails were loosely wrapped around each other. He felt his face heat up as he slid away. He would have yelled at him for being inappropriate, but even if he had done it consciously, the fool probably didn’t realise what it implied.

At Vegeta’s movement, Goku’s Ki rose a little as he woke up. “Hey, you hungry?”

Somehow Vegeta was not surprised that these were the first words out of his mouth. “Yeah I guess,” he replied and rubbed his quads. Goku rolled over and stood up, scratching his butt as he exited the room.

Vegeta shook his head and wondered if Goku knew what embarrassment felt like. He was back a moment later, fully dressed. He tossed Vegeta’s clothes into the room before shutting the door. Clanging could be heard from the small kitchen area.

Vegeta pulled on the spandex, gloves and boots before performing some light stretches in an attempt to loosen up a bit. By the time he was done, a steaming pot of something rice-like was sitting on the tiny table in the corner of the room. Goku set out bowls and chopsticks before indicating he should sit.

“Are you ok? You look kind of sore,” he asked, piling the rice into his bowl before pushing the pot towards Vegeta, who winced as he sat.

“I’ll live… rather, I’ll be fine,” he replied, watching the food vanish. Truthfully he didn’t feel particularly hungry, but he’d been trained to eat when he could and that eating usually solved problems.

“Well, mmf…” He attempted to speak and inhale food at the same time. He swallowed before continuing, “Do you wanna go see family today? They don’t have their bodies, so they act a little different, but they’re always happy to see me…” Goku got out before resuming wolfing down his breakfast.

“I suppose… I don’t feel like an old man anymore. It might not feel strange to see them,” he answered, soon finishing off his own portion.

“Well, let’s go then!” Goku replied enthusiastically, bringing his hand to his head.

“I see… that’s why this place is a sty,” Vegeta answered, reaching for the oaf’s arm nonetheless.

Goku giggled and the scenery changed yet again.

Their surroundings were made up of an odd combination of cherry blossom trees and bright white and fluffy clouds. There were small pricks of light floating about everywhere. One in front of him shimmered and became hazy before a translucent image of Bulma appeared. She looked a lot younger than when she had died.

“Vegeta!” she exclaimed delightedly as Trunks and Bra appeared, along with Kakarrot’s family. They floated strangely around him, but it was physically impossible for them to hug or display any other type of greeting Vegeta had privately hoped for. He guessed this was what Kakarrot had been referring to when he said they acted differently. They didn’t have hormones or other physical ailments to contend with.

He nodded; still glad to be able to communicate with the few people he loved. They chatted about things he found to be inane, and he again felt a rush of gratitude towards Kakarrot. He was right; a life in heaven would be incredibly boring, especially if you still had a body.

Eventually they parted ways, agreeing to visit again sometime. He was glad to see Bulma had finally found peace, but their relationship had changed. They were no longer alike enough to want the same things. He felt only familial love for Bulma, and she obviously felt the same.

When they returned, Goku absently stared into the distance for a while. Just as Vegeta was beginning to get concerned about whether his brain was still managing to function, Goku turned to look at him. “Hey, the Kais just said they wanna talk to me about something. It’ll probably take a while, so do you mind staying here?”

Vegeta frowned. Kakarrot seemed to be trying to hide it, but it was obvious the Kais probably wanted to talk about him. “Sure, whatever,”

Goku smiled and moved a few paces to the kitchen’s only cupboard. He got on his hands and knees to investigate it. “Guess I’ll pick up some food too.”

Vegeta turned in an attempt to better hear Goku’s voice. He didn’t bother to respond, but somehow found himself staring at the other man’s backside. The loose gi didn’t reveal much, but he had seen it all before. Then he found himself being mesmerised by his tail, waving carelessly through the air then curling around his upper leg…

“Ok, I’ll be back soon!” Goku announced as he suddenly stood and vanished.

Vegeta blinked a few times, wondering where that had come from. But the thought still bothered him and he soon found himself imagining things about the other Saiyan he never thought he could. It was obviously a response to his sudden regain of sex hormones and a lack of any other options. At least, that’s what he told himself.

He sat on the futon, feeling himself become more and more aroused by these imaginings. Well, he was probably going to be alone long enough to take care of the problem…

However, much to his embarrassment, Goku was back a lot sooner than expected. He tried to remain dignified, but found himself flushing and yanking the sheet up.

“Huh? Oh, I’m sorry Vegeta! You don’t have to be embarrassed, I sometimes feel like that after seeing Chi for the first time in ages…” He nimbly stepped aside as Vegeta left the bedroom and slammed the toilet door behind him.

How could he even find that moron attractive? He sighed when he’d finished and sat down on the toilet contemplatively.

“Um, Vegeta, I didn’t mean to upset you…” Goku’s voice came through the door a few moments later. “I know this is a sensitive thing for you, but it’s normal, you know? Don’t worry about it. Also I made some food if you want some…”

Vegeta snorted, “Normal?”

“Well, yeah, you’re technically alive again. Given our species we want to reproduce as much as possible.”

Vegeta just shook his head, even though he couldn’t be seen. “I wasn’t thinking about Bulma, you idiot.” He flushed the toilet and opened the door to see a confused oaf.

“Really? Well -” he stopped speaking as Vegeta pulled him down to his level by the front of his gi. He wasn’t sure what to make of the look in his eyes, but it was intense. “Um, then who?”

“Are you really that _dense_?” he demanded, shaking the compliant man a little.

It finally seemed to dawn on him. Goku pulled him into a hug and nuzzled the prince’s face. Shocked by the sudden action, he flinched away from the unexpected contact.

Goku tilted his head to the side questioningly before shrugging and making his way to the table. “Come on, I’m starving!”

* * *

 

That night, Vegeta could feel the presence of the proverbial elephant in the room. Goku entered the bedroom in just his underpants again and immediately curled up to go to sleep on his side of the futon. His tail was never still for more than five seconds, indicating he was nervous or restless about something.

Vegeta wondered about this. What did he think was going to happen? He was the one who should be worried; the moron was the powerful one. “Kakarrot,” he began, absentmindedly stroking the other’s tail.

“Yeah?” he replied, turning to lay on his back so he could look at Vegeta.

Goku slowly reached out to the other man, putting a hand on his forearm. Vegeta accepted this physical contact; it wasn’t like he had anything to fear from him. He shifted his arm so that their hands were touching.

Goku slid his tail over Vegeta’s because he felt it was the appropriate thing to do. Vegeta’s prudish nature caused his face to heat up again. Goku shuffled closer, curious. He cautiously pressed his lips against the shorter man’s brow. He didn’t want him to pull away again.

He was shocked when Vegeta rolled on top of him and straddled his stomach, due to their height difference. He leaned over the taller man and kissed him properly, running his fingers through his coarse hair.

Goku wrapped his arms around him, trying to pull him in closer. He knew he’d have to be gentle for now, so was sure not to squeeze too hard. He ran his hands up and down the other’s muscled back, reflecting on how it was different from Chi-Chi, but still nice. He couldn’t help but want to feel skin instead of spandex.

Vegeta moved from his mouth to his jaw and neck. He felt Goku hug him tighter as he came to a particularly sensitive spot. He could now feel that Goku was just as aroused as he.

After a few incessant tugs, Vegeta finally got the hint and sat up to remove his training clothes. Between them, with much giggling from Goku, they managed to get the suit off without changing position too much.

Vegeta used his tail to stroke the taller man so he could return to kissing his mouth. He groaned and wriggled a bit, liking the sensation. Goku tried to get his underpants off without interrupting the ministrations too much.

Vegeta had to admit he felt powerful when he saw what he could do to the stronger Saiyan. Even though he was more powerful and should therefore, in Vegeta’s experience, want to exert his dominance, he was docile and gentle. He didn’t mind submitting.

Goku looked down with a concerned expression when Vegeta kept tracing his fingers over his butthole. “Um, what are you doing?”

Vegeta just snorted. “I don’t suppose you’ve ever had sex with a man before? No? Well, things would be easier if we had condoms and lubrication.”

“Won’t it hurt?” he asked, but seemed to be concentrating intensely on something else.

“Not if you relax and just tell me what you want.”

“Ok, here.” Goku said, still looking a little unsure. He reached under his pillow and pulled out what Vegeta had asked for. He was getting better at the conjuring trick.

They continued on, and once Goku was comfortable with the idea, he was soon becoming very aroused himself. “Harder,” he groaned again. Sweat was forming on Vegeta’s brow as he tried to keep up with the other’s demands. He could never do anything like this with Bulma; she was far too fragile.

“Pff, who do you think you are to demand things from me?” Vegeta grunted. His muscles still ached from their training, but he wanted to continue.

Goku laughed, properly this time, not his weird giggle. “Well, if it doesn’t bother you too much, my Prince, would you kindly go at it a bit harder? When things become rough, I just get so… excited.”

Vegeta just shook his head, smirking all the same. “I always knew you were a masochist.”

“Me? You’re the one who used to demand I beat you up weekly!”

Vegeta rolled his eyes and changed the angle at which he went. If the other’s sudden lack of coherent sentences was anything to go by, he liked the change.

They lay together afterwards for an immeasurable amount of time. Vegeta had no idea how long he’d been dead for, let alone how long they had been in bed. Day was when they were awake and night was when they chose to sleep. The external environment didn’t change much at all.

Goku used Vegeta’s chest as a pillow and slowly traced patterns over his muscles. Vegeta found himself relaxing more than he had in a long time.

“Thank you, Kakarrot…” he muttered as he felt himself slowly drifting to sleep.

“No need,” he mumbled, wrapping his tail around the older man’s thigh.

Tomorrow they would definitely train for real.


	2. Frieza

Vegeta’s heart pounded as Frieza smirked and easily knocked his punch away. He tried to sink his fists into the repulsive lizard again and again, but to no avail. With every strike the strength in his arms seemed to vanish at the last second. Even when the tyrant didn’t bother to block, the best he could get out was a light tap.

“ _No_ ,” he muttered, trying to repress the fear. This could not be happening. He was a Super Saiyan. How could he be feeling so weak? Wiping the floor with this freak should be elementary, and yet…

The alien’s icy hands closed around his wrists, easily trapping him against the wall of the darkened room. The sense of helplessness was humiliating, and Vegeta feared what was to come next. He thought he had escaped this years ago.

But when the frighteningly strong being opened his mouth to speak, the voice wasn't right. “Geez Vegeta, you could wait ‘til we’re training before beating the crap out of me.”

“Kakarrot?” he grunted, suddenly snapping into a state of full awareness. He felt a warm, Saiyan hand closed over the wrist of the side he favoured when punching, and saw Goku rubbing his gut with an agitated look on his face. Well, there was far too much pout for him to be truly angry, but he wasn’t exactly his usual sunny self.

Vegeta pulled his wrist out of the buffoon’s grip and shuffled away from him. He sought his familiar training suit to eliminate his state of undress.

“Are you ok?” Goku asked, his features quickly morphing into an expression of concern. He reached out and lightly touched the Prince’s cheek.

“Of course!” he snapped and violently smacked the hand away, as if blocking an attack.

This response appeared to upset the moron, but he soon bounced back like a persistent rubber ball. “Fine, but we can probably do something about it y’know. Remember where we are?” That hinting was about as subtle as he could manage.

Vegeta looked away purposefully and securely wrapped his vulnerable tail around his waist. He stood and exited the room, leaving the other man to sit on the futon unashamedly naked.

He shouldn’t take his insecurities out on one of the few fighters that didn’t hate him and had never done anything to seriously wrong him before, Vegeta knew that. But he had problems. Kakarrot would either have to live with that or leave him be. Vegeta tried to convince himself he didn’t particularly care which.

Fully clothed, for once, Goku emerged into the kitchen area a moment later. As if too afraid of incurring the short man’s wrath again, he didn’t touch him, even though he obviously wanted to. To him it was a natural form of communication, so it was awkward to be cut off so completely. Especially after what had eventuated ‘yesterday’.

“I love you,” he blurted, not thinking of the consequences of his actions, as usual.

Vegeta flinched as though he had been struck physically, and whipped around. “What the-?” But his tirade was cut off just as suddenly by the sincerity in the other’s eyes.

This was Kakarrot he was dealing with. The words would be ridiculous and throwaway from anyone else, but Kakarrot was a special case. Other than a select few exceptions, he loved everything, and didn’t seem to have any qualms with reminding it of this. Including his Prince, it seemed.

Vegeta rolled his eyes and tried to pretend that he had never freaked out to begin with. “You love _everything_ , Kakarrot.”

The childish man shrugged, “Does that make it any less valuable?”

Vegeta didn’t have an answer to this, so he ignored the question and sat at the table.

After they finished eating, Goku folded his arms on the table and rested his chin on them. He stared up at his fellow Saiyan expectantly.

Vegeta noted how cute and innocent he somehow managed to look. Honestly, he was meant to be a grown man, a warrior. “What?” he finally demanded.

“I thought you would have asked to go kick Frieza around the block by now.”

Vegeta certainly hadn’t expected that answer. “I thought we were supposed to behave ourselves in downtime,” he replied with a smirk.

“Well, he’s still in hell for a reason. I know you haven’t reached your living prime again yet, but you have more than enough power and skill to easily defeat him now.”

“I didn’t realise you were capable of having a sadistic streak.”

“You never bothered to find out,” Goku answered. He continued, looking a little uncomfortable, “He’s still hurting you, but not in a way I understand. If there’s a better way of dealing with this…”

Vegeta shook his head. Fighting was all he knew. Goku nodded as if he understood the unspoken conviction, before transmitting them into the pits of hell.

* * *

 

They appeared on the rim of an active volcano. A small problem with the technique: Goku hadn’t expected Piccolo to be in such a place. The heat was astounding!

Vegeta’s hand lingered on Goku’s arm, but he removed it when the Namek turned to face them. “Goku,” he said with a nod, dropping some soul that still had its body into the searing lava below. “Vegeta,” he added, managing to express his surprise and disapproval in the space of just one word.

“Namek,” he replied in kind.

“Hiya Piccolo! Gee, isn’t that a bit harsh?” Goku asked brightly, leaning over to look into the crater below them. He saw the humanoid straighten up and hover in mid-air. The heat seemed to make him uncomfortable, but it was better than frying to… whatever he would fry to around here.

“No,” he replied simply, staring down at the alleged wrong-doer, as if daring him to try and fly back up.

“Well, anyway,” Goku continued. It was usually best to not get involved in Piccolo’s idea of justice. “We’re just here to pay Frieza a visit.”

“I see,” Piccolo answered, but his attention was focussed on the sweating being below. “He hasn’t had a hiding for a while, knock yourselves out.”

“Alright, see you later!” Goku replied once he had located the tyrant’s Ki. Vegeta followed Goku’s lead, unable to identify the Ki himself. He thought he had it, but it was so small it just couldn’t be it.

They landed on the other side of the mountain range to find him attacking Nappa, of all people. Vegeta experienced a rare flash of guilt, but countered it by jumping into the fight as soon as his former bodyguard was launched out of it.

He formed a fist and drove it into the transformed being’s stomach. Unlike in his dream, his strength was easily enough to sink into the muscle and knock him back several meters.

“Prince Vegeta!” the bald Saiyan exclaimed in surprise, as Frieza simultaneously hissed it in anger, the title rather more sarcastic.

“Finally back again are we, monkey?” Frieza continued, slowly and almost gracefully getting back to his feet.

Vegeta smirked. He had no reason to be afraid anymore. As soon as he transformed, he would overwhelm his tormentor with ease.

But for now, Frieza kept his condescending attitude in place. He sniffed a few times, before chuckling coldly. “Oh please, can you not keep your pants on for five minutes?”

Vegeta’s eyes narrowed. Of course, he and Kakarrot had yet to clean themselves up properly. From the corner of his eye he saw Nappa also looked mildly surprised, but at the same time angered by the allusion to past abuse.

Abuse he could not have done anything to prevent.

“Now that the head monkey has returned to his followers, they may just have a chance to successfully exact revenge,” Frieza stated as though he didn’t truly believe it. “Then again, it was some Earthling who managed to turn into a Super Saiyan, not you.”

“He could beat you without turning Super, it’s obvious,” Goku stated, carefully observing their power levels.

“Oh, is that why you’re his whore?” the villain scoffed. Since Goku wasn’t transformed, he didn’t seem to recognise nor fear him. Even if he were able to sense power levels, Goku was currently hiding his very effectively.

Goku frowned. He didn’t know the word ‘hoar’, but he guessed it didn’t have anything to do with food.

It never did.

“As if I would sink to your level.” Vegeta scowled and moved in for another attack.

Goku’s prediction had been right, of course. It only took a few punches to incapacitate his enemy. It was all so easy. He removed his fist from the tyrant’s gut and let him slide down the cliff face he had slammed him partway through.

Vegeta turned away from Frieza’s unconscious form to face Nappa as he approached. He supposed that in terms of apparent age, they were approximately the same now. It wasn’t that he expected Nappa to hold a grudge; they had both noticed his sanity slipping since before their excursion to Earth. But he still wasn’t sure how to behave.

“Prince Vegeta?” he stated again, apparently unable to believe his eyes. “I don’t understand, isn’t that Raditz’s brother?”

“Nappa, a lot has happened since then,” he reminded, not exactly sure how to explain himself. Not that he should have to, mind.

The older man glanced at Goku, wondering how someone so stupid and apparently weak had caught the attention of a royal-elite. Vegeta could tell Nappa was considering his Prince’s choice in mate.

“He’s stronger than me,” he admitted.

“What, stronger than that? Impossible!” The flabbergasted man was unable to comprehend such a feat.

“Kakarrot, you said there were other Saiyans down here?”

“Yeah, they seem to have been here for ages. There are some people that knew my dad. It was interesting meeting a few female Saiyans. Actually, I didn’t even think my brother would still be down here!” He scratched the back of his head.

“He’s right, Raditz is with the others. Frieza is generally content with just kicking one of us around at a time, so…” Nappa added, proving his loyalty to his race.

“And, my father?” he asked almost hesitantly. It had been so long since he’d thought of the man last. He wondered how things had turned out.

“Yes, people in hell reincarnate when they’ve received sufficient punishment, but we still have a lot of Saiyans from two or three generations back,” Nappa explained.

“I see,” Vegeta stated. “I think we should clean up and return later.” He looked at Goku meaningfully.

“Huh? Oh, ok,” Goku smiled and searched out his father’s Ki. When Goku nodded in affirmation, Vegeta grabbed his forearm and they teleported away.

This time they appeared closer to the bathing area than his father, but Goku was only able to do this because he knew the area so well. He stripped down without further ado and put his clothes in the tub after sniffing them. The stench was all over them as well.

Vegeta found himself staring at the way the other man’s powerful muscles moved. Goku turned to look at him expectantly, and frowned when he saw he was still clothed. “C’mon Vegeta, I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want me to,” he implored.

The shorter man sighed and ran a hand through his hair before complying. It bothered him that he actually did want the other Saiyan to do something. He felt like a hypocrite for even thinking it. He didn’t understand where his want to be on the receiving end of that raw power came from, either. Maybe Frieza had screwed him up more than he thought.

Still, now was not the time. They had some Saiyans to meet.

* * *

 

They returned to the underworld, now rather more presentable. Nappa turned with a ball of Ki ready, clearly assuming the worst of the presence behind him. He let it dissipate and sighed in relief when he saw them. “It’s good to see you back again so soon, Prince Vegeta.”

Vegeta nodded once, surprised to find Nappa was out here alone. He had been expecting the man to return to the group as soon as Frieza had been dealt with. Still, now was probably the best chance he was going to get to say it.

“Nappa, I’m sorry for what happened on Earth,” he spat out hastily, hoping his discomfort wouldn’t be misinterpreted as insincerity.

Nappa smiled slowly. Of course it wouldn’t be misinterpreted by the man who had known him since he were a mere babe. “Nah, there’s nothing to forgive. You had to give them a chance to win.” His grin indicated the odd humour behind his words.

“So where’s everyone else?” Goku asked, turning slowly to observe their surroundings. They were at the foot of an ash-covered slope, which in the distance turned into the volcano Piccolo was still at the top of.

“Frieza won’t stop at that. Being beaten so badly will just enrage him when he wakes up.” His expression turned wry. “I’m not done being beaten up just yet.”

“Good,” Vegeta growled, cracking his knuckles. “As if that so-called fight was enough to make up for two decades of his shit.”

“While I’m amazed by your strength Prince Vegeta, he’s not likely to try the same strategy twice. We should stay vigilant.”

“Do you think I could scare him off by powering up?” Goku asked absently, staring into the distance.

Vegeta soon found he was looking in the direction of Frieza’s flickering Ki. “I think he would shit himself if he saw two Super Saiyans in the same place.”

Goku gave his odd giggle before turning back to Nappa. “We shouldn’t have to worry about him for an hour or so yet. What’s everyone up to?”

Trusting Goku’s judgement, Vegeta began walking toward what had to be the Saiyan population of hell. He wondered which one was his father’s Ki. He had never known his mother, yet he still wondered if she was down here somewhere as well.

They entered a crude camp. Clearly there was nowhere in hell for them to set up a permanent civilisation. Vegeta suspected the infighting also made the creation of lasting structures pointless, what with old enemies meeting again and grudges rekindling. They were taken through to a central area which largely consisted of a fire pit, over which seemed to be a selection of food permanently cooking away. Just waiting to be taken and dutifully replaced.

Though Goku had always identified as an Earthling, he suddenly felt more connected to his people than ever.

Vegeta rolled his eyes; a bad habit he had gained from his son (in this universe) when he was a teenager, but had found it to be far more socially acceptable on Earth than throwing a punch. The drooling moron snapped out of it when the rest of the camp seemed to have picked up on the unknown yet obviously Saiyan presences.

Vegeta started when he spotted his father. They had always looked like a mirror image of each other, but now they were much closer in age it was a hundred times more obvious. He had been expecting the man's Ki to be tiny, but this seemed ridiculous for the leader of their race. Then again, his father had always been more brains than brawn.

“Vegeta,” he said quietly as he approached. He put a firm hand on his son’s shoulder. The man was still taller than him, of course, but this was the first time he had seen him since he had died, presumably by Frieza’s hand.

Vegeta remained silent, searching his eyes for the man he remembered. But those memories were so old, they could simply be meaningless reconstructions by now. His father pulled him forward and patted his back as they hugged.

“My son… I know you lived a hard life under Frieza’s thumb because of my failure. Nappa told me everything. Can you forgive me?”

Vegeta felt panicked when he barely understood the language his father was speaking to him in. He answered in standard, too afraid of botching it and sounding like an uneducated fool.

“It’s true that the first few decades of my life weren’t exactly pleasant. But I don’t regret the way things turned out. I could have died beside you, or I could have gone through the years of torture only to emerge on the other side with friends and a family of my own. A lot of time has passed since I k… since Nappa died. Things slowly got infinitely better after that, so it wasn’t all bad.”

His father looked at him in concern. “It’s impossible to tell the passage of time here. How long has it been since Nappa joined us?”

Vegeta tried to convert Earth years to Vegeta ones, but was unable to remember the size of their units. He fell back to common again, realising their species was indeed dead despite his living relatives. “I died of natural causes in the end. I lived for an average natural lifespan.” About 120 Earth years, he thought.

His father looked sad, but managed half a smile in spite of that. “Long enough to forget your basic education then,” he said, fondly knocking against his son’s forehead.

“Sadly not having other Saiyans to talk to has eroded my memories. Hopefully we can fix that sometime soon,” he agreed formally, still unsure of how to behave.

They parted further now that the moment was over. Vegeta glanced up at Goku, who was suddenly rather highly strung.

“Frieza?” he asked.

Goku tilted his head to the side. “Yeah, but that’s not what I’m worried about.” He gave a controlled exhale and visibly relaxed. “I’ll explain later, but we should deal with Frieza first or he’s going to be petty and hurt someone here.”

Vegeta sighed when he felt the power racing toward them. He shot into the air, travelling at subsonic speeds to intercept Frieza before he could reach the small settlement. He slammed his foot into the tyrant’s head, but the blow was dodged at the last moment.

Vegeta stopped in the air so he could turn and kick again. This time he hit the monster’s ribs and made him free fall a few meters.

“Why do you persist?” he asked, firing lasers in the Prince’s direction.

“Why would I not?” Vegeta asked, dodging the strikes as he raced forward. He blinded Frieza with a flash of golden Ki as he transformed in the tyrant’s face, right before knocking him into the ground. “If that moron managed it, then any Saiyan can achieve this transformation. All of my people have the ability to defeat you, they just didn't know how to access the power.”

Vegeta dropped to the ground, forcing himself down faster with Ki. He slammed his feet into Frieza’s chest while he was still lying on the ground stunned.

Frieza wheezed, but even if he were still alive that would be far from a deadly blow. His species could survive in the vacuum of space for some time, after all. “So I suggest you stop playing with ‘monkeys’ and find something that’s more your level.”

Goku stepped up beside him and grabbed his arm. “We have to go,” he said urgently. “The Kais are summoning us.”

Vegeta wanted to tell the Kais to shove it. He wasn't done here. He glanced up to see the looks of shock and pride on the Saiyans’ faces. His father opened his mouth to speak but suddenly the surroundings were that of King Kais planet.

Vegeta glanced around and prepared to snarl a few choice words in Goku’s face.

He was interrupted by King Kai calling them over. “Glad you could _finally_ make it,” he grumbled. “Now sit down and listen up!” He snickered, and Goku tilted his head to the side, wondering where the joke was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel this part of the story might change a bit after I see the new DBZ movie being released April next year. But for now, this is my interpretation of them all meeting Frieza again.


	3. Life After Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sat down and brainstormed ideas for where I could take this old fic and ended up with something completely unexpected. Avoiding inconsistencies is going to be a nightmare, so please help me out by calling them out.

Goku frowned at King Kai, not getting what he was saying at all. “So lotsa bad guys are coming to our time and universe,” he surmised.

King Kai sighed and smacked a hand against his forehead. “There’s more to it than just that!”

“What you’re saying is that a version of Cell is using time travel to round up an army from various dimensions to attack this one because it’s the only one left with Goku and I in these protector positions. And this constant time travel is also poking holes in the structure of our dimension, making it unstable,” Vegeta tried.

“Yes! Thank you!” the Kai grumbled.

All of a sudden a young adult Gohan popped into existence alongside Kaioshin, otherwise known as Kibitoshin. He pushed his glasses up with the hand not holding the reconstruction of the Z Sword and fiddled with the tie of his dark suit as he glanced around. “Oh, hi Dad!”

Goku smiled brightly. It seemed his son had let duty shove him back into a body for the time being. Even if he was relatively weak again, the sword would soon get him back in shape.

“I’m going to have to send him to the Future Universe. They are already connected to us physically through their Trunks, and essentially, Bulma’s genius. If the enemy truly has mastered dimension hopping as well as time travel, they will be prime targets,” Kaioshin began straight away.

King Kai didn’t look very happy about risking the fabric of their universe, but he would never talk back to someone so important.

“But first we must perform the ritual to grant life back to our universe’s protectors.” Vegeta glanced up properly, definitely intrigued this time. “While you two can visit the living realm in your current state, it won’t last forever. Even gods have rules to follow, and dead ones are meant to move on. Even though it appears you are alive, the two of you are still around under very special circumstances.

“I will have to take potential life force from versions of you that didn’t die naturally in their dimension, but were never wished back either. This may grant you with some rather unpleasant memories of a parallel existence. But I expect you’re all willing to bear it.”

Gohan and Vegeta glanced at each other. Goku didn’t seem to understand or care about the significance. “I guess we have no real choice,” Vegeta spoke when no one else would, remembering his contract.

Kaioshin nodded. “Then we’ll have to start straight away.” He touched Gohan’s forehead as he concentrated. A few seconds later the halo vanished and Gohan clutched his face, gasping.

“Good god, no wonder Future Trunks was so fascinated by my existence as a kid,” he gasped out. He looked like he was about to start crying, but then seemed to straighten out which memories were actually his. “I need to get to them now. We can’t risk being too late!”

“I will have to go with you so you can bring them back here. Just wait a little longer,” Kaioshin said, already moving on to Goku. They all knew Goku’s life force wouldn’t be able to come from the same universe.

Goku’s disposition barely changed once Kaioshin was done, but the smile had vanished. “I’m sorry Goku. There isn’t time to look for something better,” he apologised. “Your heart condition meant I had to take this from quite a distant universe. The further they are, the more difficult it is to keep track of them.”

Vegeta glanced up when Kaioshin’s hand came to rest on him. He seemed to be hesitating about something. “What, are all my lives really doomed to be that terrible?” he spat, somewhat terrified by the prospect inside. What could be worse than Frieza?

Kaioshin pursed his lips. “Best for your mental state and number of years available is the timeline where Planet Vegeta is destroyed immediately, rather than annexed. You were only two years old, so few to no memories to speak of.”

“I’ll take it.” Vegeta shrugged.

Once done, Gohan somewhat impatiently grabbed the god’s shoulder. He nodded and they both vanished.

“You two had better get back to Earth. You’ll need to be ready to protect Future Bulma and Trunks while they help us Kais to find more information on our enemies.”

* * *

 

 

Vegeta and Goku dropped onto the sandy beach of Master Roshi’s island. Android 18 burst out the front door shortly followed by the bald man. Goku reflected on how nice it was to have immortal friends.

“Is my processor playing up or are you messing with the universe’s laws again?” she demanded.

Goku giggled and brought his hand to the back of his head. “You’re righter than you know, but someone else beat us to it this time.”

She sighed and shrugged. “No helping you lot. I suppose you’re going to get Krillin involved in this as well?” Given their current living state, she looked a little hopeful.

“No plans to yet, but things are pretty crazy, so who knows?” Goku stretched and wandered inside the hermit’s house. “Gohan and Kaioshin will be back soon, hopefully with more information about what’s goin’ on. Now, where’s all the food? I’m starving!”

Roshi sighed and tried to prevent him from eating what he’d been saving for dinner. “Looks like falling out of the habit of staying well-stocked for you was a mistake!”

Vegeta glanced back as another group of Kis appeared on the beach. Kaioshin and Gohan had already returned with Trunks, Bulma, and a time machine. But then, it was probably only a slight inaccuracy that meant they hadn't reappeared right after they left.

Bulma looked a little rattled. He guessed she would have preferred to take a ride in her own technology, but from what he could gather, Kaioshin’s method caused less damage to the universe.

Trunks spotted him then quickly glanced away. He had to remind himself the boy hadn’t grown up in the same way as the son he’d had in this universe. In fact, he recalled guiltily, he had been downright horrible to the boy back then. And to him that would have seemed like only a few years ago.

It hurt that Bulma’s reaction was somewhat similar, but she quickly collected herself and strode past him.

“Son!” she called, having spotted Goku inside. She hugged him tightly and Goku awkwardly patted her on the back. “Sorry, I know you’re not the same guy I knew, but seriously it’s good to see you’re fighting fit!”

“Aw that’s ok, our universes were basically identical up to that point,” he shrugged it off.

“Yes, our universe didn’t exist separately from this one until that set of events,” she explained, but Goku’s smile just became fixed as he continued to nod slowly.

“So I guess what we all need to know,” Vegeta began, “is which universe this Cell is from, and how it got a version of the time machine.” Bulma glanced at him, seeming to remember he was the one with a solid background in ‘theoretical’ physics.

“Well, let’s start with mapping the dimensions we know of,” she suggested, pulling out a pen and a folded and worn blueprint from her mechanic’s jumpsuit. She turned it to the blank side.

“This universe is the centre of the conflict,” Vegeta began.

Bulma nodded and placed it at the centre. She grinned. “What stupid name do you guys get?”

“Didn’t you just say we’re the original?” Vegeta countered, finding he missed her intelligent witticisms more than he had realised.

“The original? Please, let’s just call you the _Lucky_ Universe,” she retorted, labelling it as such.

“Whatever, then we have you from what we already call the Future Universe.”

Bulma rolled her eyes but wrote it without complaint. “Anyone else here secretly from another dimension?” she joked.

“Er yeah, we have the universe I was a girl in as well,” Goku muttered, staring at the floor.

Vegeta frowned. What had been so different and horrible about his life there, and why had it come to such an abrupt end? He had a dreadful feeling that it all had something to do with the Saiyans coming to Earth. What would he have done back then if Kakarrot had been the last female of their race?

But that was a conversation that would have to wait until later.

"There's also the universe in which planet Vegeta was destroyed soon after I was born. It's likely the Cell calamity still happened there, given Goku still died of heart disese in that universe, and the source of that disaster was a guy from Earth," Vegeta added.

“Well, where else could this time travelling Cell have come from? It has to be from a universe that has Bulma in it, and I think it’s pretty likely it would take a calamity like the androids for her to sit down and come up with this level of tech,” Gohan said.

“It definitely isn’t from Lucky, Krillin and I made sure of that,” Trunks said. Bulma wrote Cell near the bubble representing their dimension and crossed it out.

“He can’t be from the Future Universe either, you killed Cell there as well,” Gohan said before glancing at 18 apologetically, “along with the androids.”

18 shrugged, not taking her eyes off of Bulma’s map.

“And we can’t tell if he’s from FemGoku Universe, but it seems unlikely,” Bulma added, writing a question mark.

“From what I can see, Vegeta and Nappa destroyed the Earth in that timeline long before we even headed to Namek, so yeah pretty unlikely,” Goku agreed.

“It is difficult for me to locate and examine new universes without making other versions of myself uneasy,” Kaioshin admitted as he glanced over their handiwork. “However, I will see what I can find and figure out. It seems the universe Vegeta's life came from is a good place to start searching.”

Gohan sighed with frustration, tapping the hilt of his sword impatiently. “There are infinite universes, how are we supposed to locate his dimension if it's not that one? Even if it is, there’s nothing to guarantee he’s still there!”

Bulma hummed her agreement, fiddling with the pen as she thought. “If we can figure out where the time machine came from, I should be able to trace its location. Assuming a version of me invented it, of course.”

They turned to watch Kaioshin, who had begun meditating in the corner.

“It seems we will simply have to wait for more information to come in for now,” Vegeta concluded begrudgingly. He was not the most patient person in the multiverse.

Bulma’s expression seemed to concur with this. “You? Wait for something?”

He shrugged and turned to Goku. “Let’s go.”

“Huh? Where?” he asked, surfacing from his own thoughts.

“As we all seem to be quite aware,” he glanced at Bulma with a gleam of humour, “I don’t really want to just sit around here waiting. Let’s go train until something comes up.”

Goku conceded and they both left the house before taking off to find somewhere a little accidental damage wouldn’t matter.

* * *

 

 

They landed at the top of a rock formation in an arid climate. “Isn’t this where we fought for the first time?”

Goku glanced about, seeming to snap back to reality again. “Huh, I guess it is…”

“The memories from the other universe are painful,” Vegeta observed.

Goku glanced at him and nodded. “You’re smart Vegeta, I’m sure you know what happened when the last males of a species found out there was still a female left.”

Vegeta shuffled closer, wondering if he should offer a hug or something to make the moron feel better. “Just remember I didn’t do that. Even if it had have been me, my mentality is certainly different now.”

Goku rubbed his head. “It’s all too confusing,” he grumbled. But he looked Vegeta in the eye again and smiled slightly. “It should be ok after a while. You do look different now.”

Vegeta raised a brow but supposed it was true.

“Yeah, I mean, you almost come up to my shoulder now-”

Said shoulder would have had a fist-sized bruise if it weren’t for the current gap in their power levels. Vegeta muttered something and resisted shaking his hand out in order to hide how much it hurt.

“You’re right, we should get started,” Goku said brightly. “Don’t feel I’m going soft on you, but we have to be careful not to kill each other now,” he reminded.

Vegeta nodded and reflected that he should get more clothes. The training suit may not survive on this plane of existence for long.

He dashed forward and struck at his throat, stomach, ribs. But nothing got through Goku’s guard. He had the usual serious expression that only seemed to appear during a fight, but he spent more time blocking attacks than dishing them out. Vegeta supposed that was to be expected while being cautious.

Eventually Vegeta tired out and they both sat on a boulder that overlooked the rest of the wasteland. “Don’t take this the wrong way Vegeta, but I’m worried about the drop in your power level. Maybe it’s a good thing tracking him down is going to take a while.”

Of course the jibe irritated him, but he had to agree. The fragility of his life was a concern he hadn’t had to deal with since the first appearance of Buu. “I know,” he simply said.

Goku leaned forward and rested his chin on his shoulder. When Vegeta didn’t pull away again he grew bolder and hugged him from behind. As he scooted closer, Vegeta could feel the heat between his legs.

“Really Kakarrot, now?”

“Looks like it’s going to be now or never. I don’t think we’re going to have much time to rest after today.”

Vegeta leaned to the side so he could turn to look at him. Goku leaned forward and supported him so he wouldn’t fall as he pushed his centre off balance to get at his mouth. Vegeta stuck his finger against Goku’s oesophagus until he was uncomfortable enough to back off for a moment.

“Remember, you don’t have the conjuring trick anymore.”

“We were brought back to life, not made into mortals,” Goku replied, but his 30 seconds of intense concentration didn’t lead to anything. “Ah, it’s so difficult here. How did Piccolo manage it?”

“Probably something to do with his brain power,” Vegeta muttered as he stood.

Goku still looked downcast. “Is the condom really that important? I don’t care about poo-” But he was once again cut off, if a little less violently this time.

“Good for you. But, it’s not that. I have a dormant STD." At Goku's look he quickly explained, "Bulma made sure it doesn’t affect the DNA of Saiyans and humans. It was irresponsible of me to not say anything sooner, but I don’t want to pass it on anyway.”

“Vegeta, you were healed of everything when you signed the contract,” Goku reminded. “Scars, tails, sickness,” he added, tapping the left side of his chest.

“Oh…” he replied, glancing back contemplatively. “Well, we should get everything sorted out first,” he added as he took off.

“Hmm, that Bulma really likes looking at you,” Goku said with a laugh as he jumped to his feet and followed. Vegeta raised a brow. “But I guess she’s trying too hard to not show it because she only knew you when you were mean.”

“Oh, I’m not mean now? How flattering,” Vegeta said flatly. They flew along almost lazily.

“We should go see the kids at Capsule Corp. I mean especially if we have to buy and consume survival necessities now,” Goku said as he absently turned through the air.

“Or maybe you should get a job,” he replied, but they changed course anyway.

“Speak for yourself!”

“Frieza Henchman doesn’t make for the best resume fodder on this planet.”

* * *

 

 

“Oh, you’re back Great Granddad!” A young smiling woman waved at them from the front garden. Her short and stiff black hair was the only indication she was related to a Saiyan.

“Pantee,” Vegeta greeted. “You were expecting me?”

“Well, not in particular, but I knew something was up when your body disappeared after you died!” she explained brightly. “I don’t think I ever saw you looking this young before though, and hey you really do have a tail! And you must be Goku,” she added, turning to him.

He was surprised to be recognised. “That’s me!”

“You need a place to stay? I still have your card on record too Granddad,” she explained.

“I’m afraid we need to stay near the turtle hermit’s place. We’re waiting for intel on our current mission.”

“Oh well, let’s get you some food and clothes so you don’t eat the poor man out of house and home! Just let me write down what I was thinking about,” she pulled out a notepad, and didn’t look like she would be stopping for a while yet.

A little robot rolled over to them and poked Vegeta’s ankle.

“Mobi, don’t be rude!” Pantee called without looking up.

The little thing backed up. “Sorry,” it apologised robotically. “Unknown life forms.”

“Don’t worry about her,” Pantee said as she put the notepad away. “I’m trying to teach her to understand Common like a person, but I don’t think her algorithm handles the culturally sensitive side of language very well.”

“Not people,” she replied almost immediately.

Goku laughed and crouched in front of the device. “Maybe she can tell we’re not exactly human or Saiyan anymore.”

Pantee looked confused at what he meant.

“I wonder what else she can sense?”

“Warning, natural flux irregular, hole circumference increasing,” Mobi said.

Pantee sighed. “She keeps saying that and I can’t figure out why.”

Goku and Vegeta glanced at each other. “I don’t want to worry you with the details, but it’s possible this Mobi is capable of detecting the very thing we are trying to prevent,” Vegeta explained carefully.

She looked surprised. “I found it in Great Grandma’s workshop and thought it was just scrap that never eventuated into a project, so used it to save time on building. Can you… I don’t know, ask her?”

“Actually, we probably can,” Vegeta said. “We should get back to the others in the meantime though.”

“I’ll have some food delivered then. All your old stuff is still in your room, you’ve only been gone a month or so.”

“Thank you Pantee,” he said and floated up to the second story window he knew well to be his. Goku followed him with Mobi in hand.

“Hey, do you know where the universe is breaking?”

“You want me to locate universal flux irregularities?”

Goku paused. “Do I?”

Vegeta sighed as he stalked around, quickly gathering his wallet, a mobile, and a few changes of clothes. He didn't know how useful the stuff would be, especilly if they ended up in another dimension, but he had got into the habit of living at least a little more like an Earthling before all of this.

He started getting changed and continued. “Let Bulma talk to it. She knows the language needed to get the answers we want.”

“But Pantee said she’s smart, maybe we can teach her to understand me?”

“I think the algorithm will have to be exposed to you for a long time before that happens,” he replied as he pulled on a dark jacket. “Do you need anything or should we get going?”

“Nah it’s all right, my gi is still in pretty good condition.”

* * *

 

 

They used instant transmission to reach the island, regrettably landing near Master Roshi and his open magazine. Vegeta noticed Bulma looking at him appreciatively, but tried to ignore it. It seemed she was just as lewd in any dimension.

“Hey Bulma, does this little one exist in your universe?” Goku asked, handling Mobi like a small animal. Well, one that he wasn’t interested in eating, anyway.

“Hmm?” she asked, taking it from him and examining it all over. “No, I haven’t seen it anyway. But it does look kind of familiar,” she said, taking its belly plate off to examine the insides.

“How rude,” Mobi said, legs twitching.

“It seems Kaioshin is the only one that can sense disruptions in the fabric of our dimension. We’ll have to get him to confirm whether it can see them too,” Vegeta said, glancing at where Kaioshin still sat.

“Maybe where they enter our dimension from is indicative of where they came from and where they're going,” Bulma mused.

Goku approached the purple god and touched his shoulder. He slowly came out of his meditative daze in response. “Hmm, what’s the problem Goku?”

“We’ve got a lead. We think Bulma of this universe made a robot that can see where the damage to our dimension is. Can you check if it really works?” Goku explained to the degree he understood the situation.

He nodded slowly and got to his feet. “I think we need more hands to help, anyway. Anyone extremely sensitive to Ki would be a good start,” Kaioshin stated as he moved toward the table and Mobi.

“Krillin?” 18 suggested.

“Dende, Piccolo?” Goku added.

Kaioshin looked contemplative. “I certainly believe Dende could help us. Piccolo however is integral to the structure of the afterlife. And indeed this Krillin could probably be guided to learning to sense the disruptions. However, he has already been reincarnated twice, as his beliefs say he will be until he reaches enlightenment.”

18 looked conflicted. “I don’t suppose you could tell me where he is now?”

Kaioshin pondered. “Ordinarily no, but given the circumstances… You could probably still recognise his Ki, Goku.”

Goku looked surprised. “I’ve only ever sensed his Ki in heaven.” He looked saddened for a brief moment. “I thought it was a shame that he had faded so fast, but I guess all that’s left up there is some sort of imprint.”

He concentrated for a while, trying to ignore the presence in heaven and focus only on Earth.

His face lit up as he beamed. “Oh wow! I get what you mean now! I’m gonna go see him straight away.”

Kaioshin nodded. “Bulma and I will try to sort this out," he indicated Mobi, "and Gohan can go inform Dende of the situation. If possible, return here with the new Krillin.”

Goku nodded enthusiastically, and Vegeta and 18 grabbed his arms before he could vanish.


	4. Father

Vegeta wasn’t prepared for the chill as they appeared on a mountaintop. But they were still somewhere on the Asian continent if his limited knowledge of Earth’s topography was anything to go by.

An orange clad middle aged human sat cross-legged before them, clearly perplexed. “Did you just, uh, appear out of nowhere?” he asked, confused that he had not sensed their approach.

“Ya-huh! It’s good to see you Kr-” Goku began, but 18 nudged him sharply.

“It’s not really him anymore; you can’t call him by that name,” she hissed.

This perked ‘not-Krillin’s’ interest. “What do you mean? Do I know you guys?”

Vegeta sighed. Obviously they didn’t have to worry about rules anymore, and he was clearly still a Buddhist in this lifetime. He understood and believed in reincarnation. “We knew you two of your lives ago. It might sound stupid, but we all have our own reasons for appearing to not have aged,” he explained briefly.

“Oh, uh, ok?”

Goku looked sad. “Can’t we give him his memories back? I miss Krillin!”

“Yeah well, you’re not the only one,” 18 muttered solemnly.

“Then, if you don’t mind me asking, what are you? How did we meet?” he asked patiently.

“You and I met as kids in our past life, and we trained under the same teacher. I’m not sure what they teach about history, but you were involved in all the fights against Earth’s biggest threats about a hundred years ago.” He smiled as not-Krillin’s expression changed. “As for us, well, we were made immortal by god standards to keep defending the universe after death.

“Oh, but she’s your robot girlfriend,” Goku amended, pointing to 18.

“That’s cyborg wife to you, mister,” she replied sharply.

The man blushed. “Oh, uh, that’s interesting. But even if I believe it’s all true, what do you want from me?”

“Heh, and now comes the real hard bit to explain!” Goku flailed for a place to begin.

18 took over. “Do you know what Cell was?”

The man frowned, rubbing his bald head in a mirror image of Goku’s habit. Perhaps he was still in there somewhere. “He’s that insect thing that people debate over whether Satan killed, right? There were all those other… fighters…”

He glanced up at them again, sharper this time. “Hey, I’ve seen you guys in history documentary footage!” he exclaimed. “So you’re saying I was one of you? A great martial artist?” He looked excited by the prospect.

“Yeah!” Goku said. “You were Krillin. You actually died a few times as part of the gang, but I made sure you got wished back.” He looked serious all of a sudden. He had made _very_ sure.

“Huh, I wondered why I liked orange so much,” he said, looking down at his robes.

“Unfortunately we’re here for more than just a reunion,” 18 said, getting back to business. “Something is going on interdimensionally. Something which could mean we will be facing multiple Cells and other nasty things all at the same time. We need your Ki sensing ability to find out which dimension the main antagonist is from so we can put a stop to it.”

The monk’s eyes widened. “Can I really help? I mean, I’m better at sensing others than most, but I’m not sure I can do that!”

“At least give it a try,” Goku begged. “We have a god to train you in this. I’m too stupid to keep track of it all and hardly anyone else is sensitive enough.”

“I, well,” the man faltered as he glanced back at the makeshift hut he had been living in. “I’m supposed to sit up here until I have a revelation, but this sounds more important than my own spiritual enlightenment. I mean I can always try again next time if something goes wrong...” His tone was not as confident as his words.

Goku smiled and offered his hand. Some part of him didn’t want Krillin to reach enlightenment. He would permanently move to a place beyond his reach.

* * *

 

They reappeared at Roshi’s place to find it was even more crowded than before. They would probably have to move up to the Lookout soon. For now, Dende and Mr Popo were in the middle of explaining something to a distraught Kaioshin.

They walked past them and headed for Bulma, who was beckoning them over. “While I have to commend myself for making this thing, it seems to have lost its calibration over the past hundred years or so,” she said, pointing at her laptop screen. All Goku saw were a few wiggly green lines, but Vegeta hummed his discontent.

“Well, can’t you recalibrate it?”

She made a face and looked somewhat embarrassed. “I’m still trying to figure out how to do that.”

“Says the woman who invented time travel?”

Goku cut in before they could start bickering. “Ok then, let’s take it to heaven and see what Lucky Bulma thinks,” he said brightly. “She made it, after all.”

“Yes, you might want to do that,” Kaioshin said from behind them.

Dende nodded. “As we were just saying, there are already multiple time machines passing through this dimension to reach adjacent ones. It’s only a matter of time before they are ready for an attack. That means we could be dealing with multiple Cells. And who knows what else?”

Kaioshin looked a little more pale than usual. “What if they find more Majin Buus?”

Goku frowned. “All right, we’ll go show Mobi to Bulma and see what she can figure out. Then we’ll see if we can find anyone to help defend us.” He sized up the power levels of those around him. “Trunks and Gohan, you need to keep training together until you can take more than a Perfect Cell each.”

He paused and glanced around at the others. Realistically, only the four of them could do much, and only he could do anything about a Majin Buu. He clenched his fists as he thought. This would have been so much easier if Vegeta had have been revived _after_ having his power level return to something higher.

“After that we’ll see who else we can revive or recruit. Is there a way for us to get to any other dimensions with versions of us who may be willing to help?”

“I can take people across, but I’m afraid if I cross over with one or both of you, they will kill me to prevent you from coming back,” Kaioshin replied.

“Ok, we’ll recruit from this dimension first,” he replied, bringing a hand to his forehead. Vegeta picked up the robot and grabbed his arm again. “Give me a shout if you need me,” he said before they vanished.

They appeared in heaven. “I’m proud of you,” Vegeta said, reaching up to tap him on the forehead. “There is a brain in there.”

Goku giggled. “If there’s one thing I know, it’s fighting. I’m not used to leading troops but I’ve never been better at sensing power, so I have all the information I need.”

They glanced around and spotted the person they had been targeting. Bulma was already approaching, focused on what was in Vegeta’s hand. “Well hello to you too,” he said as she leaned over and otherwise ignored them.

“Ha ha, oh, I remember making this thing,” she replied.

“Yeah, we need you to recalibrate it,” Vegeta said, surprised when the thing floated out of his grip. She sat down, her spirit body becoming more solid. If anything was going to bring her out of spirit decay, it was going to be machinery.

“Goku, bring me the blue toolbox from my workshop.” She seemed to remember how much time had passed since she died. “Or ask whoever lives there now for a 1994 Minikit. Can you remember that?”

He nodded. “Be right back!”

Apart from the fact spirits were mindlessly floating by them, Vegeta and Bulma were left alone. Bulma turned to smirk at him, looking more solid than ever. _Here we go,_ he thought.

“Are you screwing Son?”

He huffed and turned away from her, embarrassed by her bluntness. “What’s it to you?”

She laughed. “I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner!” She tried to compose herself a little, but failed. “Well, he is a little cutie,” she mused.

Vegeta rolled his eyes. “I’m glad you ‘approve’.” At least he didn’t have to worry about the possibility of this being a tense conversation anymore. It seemed Bulma didn’t mind what he did in his free time.

Thankfully Goku returned before she could get any more smartass retorts out. “Here you go!”

She took the toolbox and nodded with a smile that was a little too wide. Bulma the focussed properly and worked deftly, seeming to remember every detail of this project.

Once she was satisfied, she plugged a small monitor into one of its outlets. She pointed the robot in a few different directions while reading the screen, then finally nodded. “I can’t tell for sure, but that should do it.”

“Things much worse than initially calculated,” Mobi said.

Bulma shrieked and dropped it. Vegeta caught it before it could fall through the clouds.

“Right, Pantee is using this machine to train an AI algorithm,” he explained. “My genes finally came through, but she thinks in the same way you do,” he added, since Bulma hadn’t seen the girl when she was alive.

“Poor dear, living with a face like yours!” she said with a smile. “I know you’re busy, but come say hi if you get a chance.” She put her tools away and handed the box to Goku. “And make sure you put that back exactly where you found it!”

“Bye!” Goku said as they vanished.

Vegeta glanced around confused when they were in limbo instead of back on Earth. “Right, the other reason I wanted to come here is because I felt Dad turn Super,” he explained, gaze coming to rest on the man sitting on a nearby rock.

He glanced up at them, clearly lucid this time. “I saw this in my vision, but seriously, what is with the toolbox?” Bardock asked with half a smirk.

“Oh you know, I have a mechanical genius friend in heaven,” Goku replied with a smile. This was the first proper conversation he had ever had with his dad.

“So Kakarrot, did that whole Frieza thing happen yet?”

“Um, yeah, about a hundred years ago.”

“Oh, right.” He paused to think. “What the hell have I been doing this whole time?”

“Well, no one really knows,” Goku tried to explain. “See, Frieza’s attack was so intense it managed to warp a part of space-time. I guess you were lucky to get caught in the exact right place to go back in time instead of dying.”

Vegeta wondered who had come up with that theory, and how many other people the tyrant had inadvertently sent back in time.

“Ah ok,” Bardock said, and seemed to be mentally filling in the gaps. “And I’m guessing the parallel dimension thing is only just getting started.”

“You saw what’s going to happen?” Goku asked, wondering if he should ask about it. Would their actions even affect the outcome?

“Yes,” Bardock replied, “I don’t know what happened, but the vision seemed to snap me out of my trance. I have been training this whole time, of course, but now I really feel awake. I went Super again just recently.”

“I know, I felt it,” Goku replied, clearly sizing up his power level. “You’re stronger than Frieza now, but as you might have seen, that’s not enough to face off against the monsters that are going to attack us.”

Bardock tilted his head to the side, and Vegeta was struck by how similar they were all of a sudden. Perhaps nearly cracking his head open as a baby hadn’t changed him as much as they had all thought.

“You can tell that just by looking?”

“What do you mean you went Super again?” Vegeta asked. If he had been in the past when he had done it, then could he…

The man looked uncomfortable with being addressed by him, and didn’t follow the usual procedures of a low class speaking to an elite. In a way, it was a relief. After his children died, Vegeta had barely thought about his bloodline.

“Well that’s just it, I suppose I was the origin of the legend. Guess that proves any Saiyan can do it if they know how,” he said, alluding to his place in the class system.

“So, do you want to come back to life and come to Earth with us?” Goku asked. At this point, anyone would be helpful. If he learnt to turn Super Saiyan 2, he might be able to stand up to a Perfect Cell on his own, if not defeat one.

“What, you can do that too?” he asked with another smirk. “And here I thought you were the runt of the litter.”

“Well, not personally, but we can ask a guy to bring you back,” Goku explained, leaving out the truly important details as usual.

“All right then,” he agreed, “no use just standing here and watching it all happen.”

Goku contacted Kaioshin, who was slightly annoyed by the request. _‘I’m trying to teach your friend right now. And we can’t just go around reviving people willy-nilly, it’s against the rules for a reason!’_

_‘Please! We’re running out of options here!’_

The Kai appeared and sighed. “Is there anyone else you’re thinking of bringing back while I’m here?” he asked as he tapped Bardock’s forehead. “Same universe as Vegeta,” he added, in case they needed to know later.

“Uh, Uub! And Pan!”

The Kai glanced at him, then seemed to remember Goku didn’t know what sarcasm was. “That is actually a suggestion I can get behind, but that’s it, right? If _he_ notices what we’ve been doing, we’ll be in trouble.”

Before Goku could ask who ‘he’ was, the Kai had vanished again.

* * *

 

They returned to Kame House and gave Bulma the tool kit instead of returning it to Capsule Corp. Kaioshin, Uub and Pan appeared shortly after.

"Goku!" Uub cried, running up to his old teacher and tackling him.

"Oof!" Goku gasped with a small chuckle. He wasn't a little boy anymore, but a fully grown and very well built man. "It's good to see you Uub! King Kai said you had done some training at his place, but I guess we were never there at the same time."

Vegeta turned his attention to the strapping young woman hanging off Gohan's neck. "Daddy! You have a body again! But it's so weird that we look almost the same age."

"Yeah, well, I can't just abandon the universe to an army of Cells," he said with a laugh, putting his daughter down.

"While I understand this is all very exciting, you should all get some rest," Kaioshin said, sitting at the table next to Roshi. He looked exhausted and more stressed out than usual.

"Yeah we don't really have that much bedding here, but make yourselves comfortable with what you can find for the time being," the old man offered, turning the page of his magazine.

Bardock, apparently exhausted from his centuries of afterlife wandering, promptly consumed enough food to feed a small Saiyan family before collapsing in the spot Goku usually slept in.

The others ate relatively sparingly while Pan bragged about being a Super Saiyan 2 to Gohan. He nodded along amiably, wondering if he was about to be shown up by his daughter. She always had been far more diligent than the rest of them when it came to training, second only to Goku's enthusiasm.

After dinner most of them moved upstairs to the spare rooms. Vegeta and Goku had been crammed into the same small storage room on a pair of futons. Now that Bardock was snoring away on the left, they were short a mattress.

Vegeta offered the other half of his bedding to Goku, but found within the space of about 10 minutes that they wouldn’t be getting any sleep if they stayed like this.

“We are _not_ doing this here,” Vegeta hissed as Goku’s hand trailed over his thigh again.

“Then let’s go somewhere else,” he murmured.

Vegeta sighed, but wasn’t really as irritated as he let on. They took a blanket and some food from the supplies Pantee had dropped off, then headed into the forest on the main land.

They found a grassy area with less rocks than the surrounding area and laid out the blanket. Goku tried his hand at romantically coercing Vegeta to lay down, but he had other ideas.

  
He took Kakarrot’s tail in an iron grip, making him buckle at the knees. “Argh, Vegeta, you never showed me how to train that,” he reminded.

“What do you think I’m doing now?” he asked. “It’s just like working any other muscle. Keep flexing against my grip until I need the force of the God of Destruction to get to the sensitive nerves.”

“While I’m glad for the lesson, can’t we do this later?” he whined, managing to turn over onto his back.

“I don’t see why we can’t do both at the same time,” he replied, loosening his grip slightly. He wanted to turn Goku on, not put him through something horribly excruciating.

At least for now.

And indeed, Goku still had the semi from when they had been in the house. Vegeta deftly pulled down his pants, exposing him to the air. The grip on his tail still prevented him from moving very far. Vegeta smirked, noticing he had actually made Goku blush, probably for the first damn time in his afterlife.

Vegeta spread his legs and leaned over, getting ready to suck on his dick. Goku trembled from the strain of fighting against his grip, and his toes curled against Vegeta’s calves. Vegeta sucked on his own fingers for a moment, looking for discomfort other than the obvious that would come from being in this position. While Goku seemed to like being submissive, he probably didn’t have many nice memories about compromising positions right now.

But he didn’t say anything or move when Vegeta loosened up his grip entirely for a few brief moments. The man shrugged and slid his fingers inside of him, locating the prostate again quickly. His breathing sped up and his ass sporadically clenched around him.

Vegeta clenched the hand around his tail again when Goku began sitting up halfway. Fast learner as always when it came to his own body, he had figured out how to properly control some of the muscles already.

But Vegeta didn’t slow down. He continued to build him up rapidly by taking his dick into his mouth. A soft cry heralded the fastest and most intense orgasm of his life.

Vegeta let his tail slide out of his grip as his partner turned to lay on his side, panting. Sucking dick had never interested him very much, but it was enough to see Kakarrot looking so satisfied, and it was an easy way out now that he wasn't particularly in the mood himself.

“Oh wow,” Goku mumbled.

Vegeta wiped his fingers on the grass, feeling somewhat embarrassed about what he had just done. Goku lazily reached over and patted his thigh, since he couldn’t reach any further up without sitting up.

“Let me try it next,” he said.

Vegeta glanced away, not sure how to say he wasn't interested without making the moron feel bad. “I’m going to wash my hands.” He stood and moved toward the beach. He looked back when he reached the sand, but Kakarrot was now hidden among the trees. He took his shoes off and moved forward to wash his hands in the waves.

The salty water quickly took care of the stench, but he remained crouching and looking up at the half moon for some time. He felt his blood stir, and made a note to remind Kakarrot to start paying attention to its cycle.

He turned at the rustle of material as Kakarrot knelt beside him, blanket and container of food in hand. “Can you teach me to control the Oozaru form as well?” he asked, for once seeming to have realised that the mood had changed.

“I’m afraid you’d destroy the planet before I could calm you down enough to try,” Vegeta admitted. “We’ll have to be careful; it’s an easily exploited weakness.”

A flash of concern crossed Goku’s face. “I hope it doesn’t come to that.”

They remained silent for a while, both picking at the fruit in the container. “Do senzu beans still grow on this planet?”

Goku sat up straighter, expanding his Ki senses. “Hmm, seems Korin is still up there. You’re right, we should be prepared with them on us.”

“I was thinking I should try to exploit our Saiyan genetics and recover from a few hits from you,” he shared his thought process.

Goku looked concerned. “No, I don’t think we should do that. Your power level has been skyrocketing after each of our sessions, as if your body is remembering what it used to be like. Just give it a few more days.”

“Why? It’ll be more efficient, and who knows when the attack will start. We don’t have to waste senzu, Dende can heal.”

“Why? Because I remember it forcefully happening to a version of me. That’s how she died!”

Vegeta sighed with frustration. “Stop being so sentimental you fool! I’m not her, I won’t die that easily!”

Kakarrot stood, clenching his fists and teeth. “Don’t you dare patronise her! She went through more crap than I have ever had to, probably including this mess!”

Vegeta just snorted and stood in response. “Patronise? Wow, the madder you are, the smarter you get.”

“Well sorry I’m not as smart as Bulma!” He brought a fist up to his mouth, immediately regretting having said anything.

Vegeta glanced up, mostly in confusion. _Kakarrot_ was feeling inferior? Well, perhaps he should stop referring to him as 'moron'...

An unfamiliar sigh came from just above the tree line. They both whipped around and increased their power levels. “Come on now children, didn’t anyone ever tell you not to air negative feelings while the moon is out?” Bardock said, floating above them with his arms folded. “Or was that just Gine’s rule?”

Goku relaxed and immediately looked embarrassed. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had my tail on a planet with a moon. I guess I wasn’t thinking.”

Bardock shook his head gently as he came down to land in front of them. He frowned about halfway and started sniffing the air. Vegeta mentally sighed, once again forgetting that other people had a heightened sense of smell.

“Oh, am I interrupting something?” he asked, head tilted, the smirk not shifting.

Trust a low class to be so crass. Vegeta simply turned away with his arms folded, observing the ocean. “Not anymore.”

“How did you end up with this prickly bastard?”

At first Vegeta was shocked he had the balls to actually say something like that to a member of the royal family, but then he began to laugh quietly. This was the guy who had tried to take on Frieza alone, after all. “You think that was ‘prickly’? Well, it’s as much a mystery to me,” he replied, glancing at Kakarrot.

“We’ve been through a lot together. Not to mention, he’s the only ally I’ve ever had that could consistently match my strength.”

Vegeta was getting sick of the knowing smirk on Bardock’s face, as if he knew they weren’t just talking about fighting. He supposed this was what happened when your parent’s mental age was lower than your own.

He tried to change the subject. “So, what did you see in the future?”

Bardock put his hands on his hips, finally becoming serious. “As usual, my visions left me with more questions than answers. I saw all kinds of strange things. Kakarrot as a woman, everyone in the house being overwhelmed by insect men, a version of the blue haired woman dressed like one of Frieza’s men… I don’t know what any of it means, or when and where any of it is going to happen.”

Goku looked concerned. “We’ll try to get Kaioshin to make sense of it all tomorrow.” He folded his arms, not seeming to like the idea of just standing around again.

“The waiting is getting to you,” Vegeta observed. “Let’s train more.”

Goku nodded then glanced at his father.

“Do what you want. I’m going to sleep for at least another 12 hours,” he replied, floating back to the island.

Goku smiled as he watched him go. A part of Vegeta was glad he wasn’t as disappointed in his father as he had been in his brother.


	5. The Time Warp

Goku and Vegeta jumped apart on the mattress as the door banged open to the room they were sleeping in. Bardock grunted as Bulma’s voice rang out.

“Guys, guys! They’ve tracked down one of the time machines! Trunks and Gohan are bringing it back now!” She clapped excitedly, waiting for them to wake up properly.

“Yay!” Goku replied, tired yet enthusiastic. “So what’s next?”

“This is where I come in. There should be an emergency override to return the machine to its original timeline. Then we just have to decide who we’re going to send to meet the one who has been manufacturing these things.”

“Well, Vegeta and I will go right? Whoever is doing this is strong enough to keep multiple Cells and possibly Buus in line. Not to mention, at least one Bulma!”

She smiled weakly at his joke. “The only problem is that will leave us vulnerable. You’re the best we’ve got Goku. I’d wager the only thing preventing them from attacking us right now is your presence.”

“I don’t know about that,” Goku said. He and Vegeta had been smashing the crap out of each other for the past few days. Much to his annoyance he had almost killed Vegeta twice, and he was sure the man had made sure he would be hit both times. Thankfully Dende had been nearby both times.

But it hadn’t happened again yet, and Vegeta’s power level had risen rapidly to the point it was edging on his again.

18 looked into the small room over Bulma’s shoulder. “I have the Dragon Balls. Can you take them to Namek, Goku? The people there are ready to make wishes for us from there, as needed throughout the battle.”

“Oh, uh, sure?” He took the offered capsule. “I’ll be back soon then,” he said before vanishing.

Vegeta rubbed his head, feeling dehydrated. His other hand reached for a shirt. “We’ve got to get ready,” Bulma said excitedly, and headed back to the kitchen and dining area.

Vegeta quickly got changed back into clothes he could fight in when he felt Trunks and Gohan return to their dimension with Kaioshin. Both of them had incredibly low energy. He raced down stairs to find them both bloody and exhausted, but still in one piece. The time machine sat outside next to the one from the Future universe.

Bulma was already tinkering away, so he turned to watch Dende heal the boys. “What was in that thing?” he asked.

“A Perfect Cell,” Gohan muttered, staring into space, no trace of his usual goofy expression. “More powerful than I’ve ever seen.”

“I killed it,” Trunks added. Vegeta nodded his approval. They didn’t have time for the typical Son softness.

Or, he remembered somewhat guiltily, one prince’s stubbornness and overconfidence.

“All right,” Bulma interrupted. “I think I’ve got it working. Who’s going?”

“Me, obviously,” Vegeta said with a frown. “You all need the moron to protect our base of operations. We can assume their leader is even more powerful than what you two just encountered, so there’s no sense in either of you going.” He indicated Trunks and Gohan.

Goku finally returned with a bag of senzu in his hand. “Oh great, you got it! We’re not going anywhere without these.”

“Correction,” Vegeta said, snatching the bag, “ _you_ aren’t going anywhere.”

Goku looked like he was about to protest. Loudly.

“Well you’re certainly not going alone,” Bardock said. “That would be stupid.”

“Don’t think you’re coming. You’re even weaker than those two. And besides, what if you have another vision?”

Bardock sighed. “Knowing what’s going to happen isn’t going to help you change anything. It’s already set in stone. I can see we’re going to land on Frieza’s mother ship, and I know the schematics for his tech by heart.”

“You think I don’t?” Vegeta argued back.

“I also understand the time machine,” he said, referring to the impromptu lessons Bulma had been giving him over the past few days. They had actually got along quite well. “You’ll need me if coming right back isn’t an option. You’re certainly not risking her life on this mission,” he said, pointing at Bulma.

Vegeta sighed, unsure why he was so adamant about this. Maybe he knew more than he was letting on? “Fine, do whatever you want!” He stomped toward the machine, but realised he didn’t even know how to open it.

Bardock gave him a shit eating grin. “Let me get that for you, majesty.”

“Hold on,” Bulma said, racing into the house.

Vegeta took four senzu out of the bag and tossed the rest back to Goku. “You lot are going to need these just as much if you’re right, Kakarrot,” he said.

Goku caught the bag and looked down at his feet. He seemed to have accepted that he really had to play guardian this time around.

Bulma came back out with a pile of papers and the scouter they had filched off Raditz all those years ago. She had cleaned it up a bit and put it back together some time over the past few days. “Got them!”

Bardock sat in the machine, mentally measuring the lack of space. “Should be snug,” he muttered before turning his attention to her.

She reached up and handed him the blueprints, scouter, and a few key tools. She could always get more manufactured straight from Capsule Corp, if it came to it. “I hope you really do understand all this.”

“Thanks, we’ll need it,” he said with a troubled expression. He secured the scouter and put the tools and blueprints in his armour.  
  
As the taller Saiyan, he remained in the seat, leaving Vegeta to jam himself in wherever he could fit. He ended up crouching in the foot space, leaving Bardock’s knees somewhere up around his ears.

It didn’t matter, the trip would not be very long.

Bardock followed the take-off procedure imprinted into his mind’s eye by his memory of this event. Though somehow he remembered being able to move around more easily.

Goku stepped closer, not looking happy at all. “Be careful, both of you. There’s no guarantee you’ll come back to this dimension if you die.”

“Then you’ll just have to come and get me, won’t you?” Vegeta snapped as the lid closed on them.

Goku nodded vigorously, then stepped away from the time machine as it began to take off. They lurched sideways as the machine honed on to its target, and suddenly saw nothing but the emptiness of space around them.

“All right, get ready,” Bardock said, one arm braced against the ceiling and the other on Vegeta’s shoulder. “The landing isn’t going to be nice, and the reception is going to be worse.”

“No matter this Frieza’s strength, I’m sure we can destroy him!” Vegeta replied. “I can kick the one I knew around in my base form.”

“That’s great,” Bardock replied, still staring at a fixed point through the pod’s window. “This might be Frieza’s ship, but we are not going to be dealing with him here.”

Vegeta frowned. “Then who? Or what?”

Bardock just shook his head. “She’ll give us a lovely speech when we get there. You’ll understand it more than I did, so we may as well just wait for it all to play out. Do we have a way of transmitting it to the other dimension?”

Vegeta glanced around, but honestly had no idea. “You should have asked Bulma that before we left.”

“Guess I’ll just have to record it on the scouter then. And I was afraid she might be in on it.”

“What? Why?” Vegeta demanded. “Thanks to her genius, everyone in our universe is still alive!”

“And thanks to the other her you had kids, yeah, yeah. Just don’t be sentimental when we get there or we’ll probably die.”

Vegeta glanced up and had an odd moment. It was almost like being told not to be sentimental by Kakarrot. “I don’t like what you’re implying he-” Vegeta was cut off by the time machine’s rough landing.

Bardock released the hatch immediately and they both jumped up. The ship they had landed in did indeed look very familiar, but the guards pouring into the room were clearly not Frieza’s men. Well, perhaps they had been at one stage, but now they wore more advanced armour that protected their entire bodies, and they carried different blasters.

“Vegeta and Bardock of Universe D19 have arrived,” the commander spoke into something that seemed to serve a similar function to a scouter. He was reading the display written on something that looked like the speeding radar guns used by police on Earth.

The man began issuing orders. “Take their ship to the main labs, bring the prisoners into the Lady’s meeting room. You two aren’t the first Super Saiyans we’ve dealt with, so don’t even think about resisting.”

Vegeta folded his arms, happy to play along if he could confirm who was behind all of this.

They were led into the ship proper, and down a new corridor. The brightly lit and sterile space brought back memories from long ago.

“She doesn’t know about me,” Bardock said as they approached a pair of double doors. The men guarding them glanced at him questioningly.

Vegeta nodded, realising it meant he couldn’t talk about his ability to see the future. This person obviously knew of at least one version of him, since the man in the landing zone had known both of their names.

They entered what used to be Frieza’s throne room to find a human standing on a platform meant to raise her above everyone else. She was currently welding away, surrounded by various terminals and other lab equipment. It reminded Vegeta of Capsule Corp.

But it was the blue hair that really cemented it in his mind. Somehow this was even more terrifying than the idea that a version of Majin Buu had been smart enough to cobble together a team.

She turned away from her welding and removed the visor. “Bulma…” Vegeta said, at a loss. She looked different, like she had focussed more on her brains than her looks this time around. Apparently pining after boys had been holding her back from intergalactic greatness.

“It’s still weird when you all come in here thinking you know who I am, but you know I never met the version of you in this universe,” she said, surprisingly brightly as she put down her tools. “Raditz wasn’t very happy to find out his brother had died a long time ago, but I had already made a gun that could deal with his power level by then. You and Nappa went straight to Namek to find more Dragon Balls.

“Oh by the way, is it true that the first wish made on the Dragon Balls of your universe was for my panties?”

Vegeta looked perplexed. “I don’t believe you ever told me that story.”

“I don’t blame me,” she said. “It is pretty embarrassing. What was I doing in that world?” She moved to the edge of her raised platform and sat down on it, still higher up than them. “Well, the first wish on the Dragon Balls in this universe was for me to understand all the intricacies of time and space. And here I am, the first mortal to be travelling through both time and space at will, building an empire with other versions of myself."

Now Vegeta understood Bardock's worries. He had probably become friends with Future Bulma to learn more about their enemy. “You didn’t wish back Goku?” he asked the woman in front of him.

“Why would I? Such an annoying little shit.”

Vegeta put a hand over his face, and couldn’t help the mirthless laugh that escaped. “You sound just like me back then.”

“Well, he’s still annoying me. The only reason I haven’t annexed your universe yet is that I can’t be confident of overcoming his power level. And now that you lot have the ability to hop through dimensions and times as well, I can’t just go back to your past and off him.”

“So you’ve been gathering Perfect Cells to try and take him down with numbers?” he asked.

“That’s about the size of it. I’m still not quite confident in nabbing a Buu for the same reasons.”

“Well, I never thought I would ever be giving the hero speech, but here goes,” Vegeta said. Bardock scoffed softly, but he continued unembarrassed. “I can’t let you do that. ‘Goku’ is your best friend in so many universes. He has saved us all countless times.”

“Oh great, does that mean I get the villain speech?” she demanded sharply. “Your universe is something of a final frontier. Goku is standing between me and complete rulership. And your version of him is the worst!”

“Good gods, you _do_ sound just like Frieza,” Vegeta replied. “I didn’t think I would have to kill my wife in any universe, but this is getting out of hand.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” she asked, seeming to know about their relationship already. “Your time machine is gone, there’s no way back to your time without my help. And do you know who can defeat Goku?”

Vegeta rolled his eyes. “I’ve tried a million times. If you’re relying on me, then you need better plan.”

She smirked triumphantly. “I have been watching you idiots. Kais are useful like that.” The more she spoke of her triumphs, the more some part of Vegeta wanted to hear the whole horrible tale. “He couldn’t bring himself to kill you even in self-defence. That moron is head over heels.”

“Yeah, all right,” Vegeta said, powering up. “I’m about done here.”

“Do you really think I’m not prepared for this?” she asked, picking up a rifle and sighting it in. “I know you’re too pig headed to listen, but last to chance to join the winning side.”

“Enough!” he roared, changing into a Super Saiyan and shooting toward her at the same time. She lowered the rifle slightly and suddenly all he could see was his wife’s face. He hesitated, and that was enough time for her to pull the trigger.

The blaster was knocked upward, the hot laser burning Vegeta’s shoulder instead of firing through his heart. It skipped a beat when he realised he was bleeding. She had found a way to hurt them in this form with mere guns!

Bardock swung the gun back down and subdued her with practiced efficiency. “Did you forget there are two of us?”

“Did you forget I’m your only ticket home?” Her men leaped into action, firing wildly. The shots bounced off of their armour and the walls of the spaceship, but Bardock too discovered the blasts were deadlier than they appeared.

“Fuck!” he swore, cradling his right arm, his hand all but gone. It was all Vegeta could do to keep dodging the ricocheting blasts. Bardock picked up Bulma in a choke hold, using her armoured body to protect his front, and now having more mobility to dodge those coming from everywhere else.

“Back to the time machine!” he roared, making a break for the exit. He changed up as they flew down the hall.

They soon found Bulma hadn’t been bluffing when she said the time machine was gone. Bardock turned sharply and entered the adjacent hangar.

Bulma struggled with the piece of tech on her wrist. “This is universe R2, need to retreat to headquarters!” she shouted into the communicator.

Bardock grunted and awkwardly moved to put his remaining hand over her mouth, but he was too late. She vanished in a flash similar to the time machine, leaving her suit and gun behind. “Fuck!” Bardock swore vehemently, crass as ever.

“Take the tech,” Vegeta ordered, pleasantly surprised when the man actually complied instead of back chatting. It was only a matter of time before the rebounding lasers found their way in here, he supposed. “I hope you have that time machine figured out.”

The one that sat before them was coated in the special rebounding material that everything else on the ship seemed to be. “She's not the leader I saw! There’s something missing,” he explained, handing off the suit and gun so he could open up the machine and try to program them a way home.

He closed his eyes and used his ‘memories’ of the future to guide him, hoping the vision was still somewhat applicable to their situation. Thankfully the interface imitated his vision exactly. “This should be it,” he said to Vegeta’s alert back.

“Time’s up, it’ll have to do either way,” Vegeta replied as he closed off the hangar and dived into the machine as well. The doors began opening back up just as they vanished.

“So,” Vegeta said, dropping the items on the floor, relieved the view seemed to be the same as their trip on the way here. “She wasn’t who we’re after then?” He offered Bardock a senzu.

“No,” he replied, a deep frown in place. “I think I’ve seen their leader, she looks a lot like the blue haired woman staying in the house. I mean, even more than the one we just met.” He glared at the bean before realising he should eat it. "It's like... someone travelled here to change things so we wouldn't find her on the ship," he realised with horror. He flexed his hand in wonder as it reassembled before his eyes.

Vegeta was also troubled. Were they really dealing with an interdimensional alliance of Bulmas here? “Hopefully Future Bulma can use the computer in this suit to track down where that version of her disappeared to. Though, if what you say is true, I think I have an idea of where the actual leader is from.”

There was one more universe none of them had thought to write down. The Cell their Gohan had fought against all those years ago had also been from a slightly different universe. The universe in which Trunks had been triumphant, only to do die on his way to see them again.

The universe in which Bulma was now completely alone.

* * *

 

“We have an unfriendly incoming!” Not-Krillin yelled. Goku thought he should really ask the man what his actual name was some time soon.

“Identify?” Bulma asked, pen hovering over her universe map, which had become much bigger since their original brain storming session.

“Perfect Cell, same as what Gohan and Trunks fought.”

Goku immediately stood, expanding his Ki senses. “Didn’t they finish him?” But of course, he could regenerate from his core alone.

They _all_ could.

He stared at the sky, dread building as he felt the horribly familiar energy.

“Wait, uh, Goku,” he added, eyes closed and face screwed up with concentration. “There’s more coming! Unknown Perfect Cell, FemGoku Piccolo!”

“Wait, what? That’s too tiny!”

Bulma interrupted them. “He’s here to cause emotional turmoil. Whoever is leading them knows about Gohan's and your relationship with him. I hate to imitate Vegeta, but don’t get sentimental.” She was running out of patience.

Goku stood and ran outside. Pan, Uub, Gohan and Trunks were all ready for action. “Gather somewhere deserted and raise your energy as high as you can in your normal state. Keep them away from the house or we’ll lose our intel!”

“Another Perfect Cell, Goku!” the muffled voice yelled from inside.

Three was way too many for the kids to handle, but he couldn’t risk abandoning Kame House himself. Goku clutched his head and wished Vegeta or Piccolo were there. They were smart enough to know what to do!

“Go with them,” 18 said from behind him as the other fighters sped off. “Kaioshin and I might not be on your level, but we can keep an enemy or two distracted long enough for you to come back and deal with it before Krillin and Bulma get wiped out. Use Gohan and Krillin’s Ki as a way point between the two main battles. And remember, I can keep on fighting forever.”

Goku glanced at her and had to resist enveloping her in a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here!”

She looked surprised, then smiled gently. “Go.”

He moved off of the island and transformed straight to Super Saiyan 2 before using instant transmission to reach Gohan and the others. He was surprised to find everyone just standing around watching two of the Perfect Cells fight it out.

“Um, what’s going on?” Goku asked Gohan, letting his energy fall to a safe level again.

He looked just as mystified when he glanced back at him. Gohan looked past him and his eyes widened. Goku turned quickly, only to find a female version of himself and a blue haired man running across the field toward them.

“Look Boxer, it’s another me!” she said gleefully. “Oh wow, look at 16 go!” she added before her companion could respond.

“What’s going on?” Goku asked, glad that his life had been somewhat normal as a woman in at least one universe.

Boxer pushed up his glasses and nodded in greeting. This male Bulma was so serious. “We solved the Perfect Cell calamity in our universe by remotely uploading Android 16’s consciousness into Perfect Cell’s body. Once I deleted the line about killing Goku he proved to be a gentle creature. I mean, why fight if you don’t have to?”

Trunks paused to look back at them. “You don’t have Vegeta in your universe, do you?”

At their blank looks he nodded to himself.

“Figures.”

The other Cell and Piccolo approached them, clearly having got over the shock of what was happening. “Ah, Gohan, Trunks, good to see you again! I thought I’d be stranded after you ran off with my time machine!”

Goku stepped forward, still on the lookout for odd energy signals back at Kame House. Piccolo’s eyes widened at his power as he released the suppressant. “I’m not sure what your leader was hoping to achieve, but it’s not going to work, Piccolo,” he said.

“I may have accepted the task a little hastily,” he conceded.

Goku turned his attention to Cell. “To be frank, you’re not going to last much longer. I can destroy every particle of your body with one attack.”

Cell just smirked smugly. “That’s ok, they should be just about done by now.”

Goku’s gut dropped out. No, they hadn’t felt any power levels arrive. He berated himself for being an idiot. There were powers he couldn’t sense, and it wouldn’t take anyone too significant to bring down the defenders, especially if there was a whole group of them!

“I’ll be back Gohan,” he said, vanishing. He appeared next to Krillin or whatever his name was now.

“Nice to see you,” a version of Bulma said, and even Goku could sense the bitterness and sarcasm. She was surrounded by men in shiny armour and helmets, all of them carrying rifles.

She pointed her gun in his direction. He wasn’t too concerned; he’d never had to worry about bullets or lasers before. He glanced out the front door, seeing the time machine reappear on the beach. He raised his hand to wave and noticed Vegeta’s eyes widen with horror far too late.

His body seized up as a bright yellow laser burned through his heart and the wall behind him. He vanished before he hit the ground.


	6. A Wish Away

“You fucking bitch!” Vegeta roared, leaping out of the time machine and kicking her in the back of the head. He felt sick when her neck snapped. Blood spurted from a gruesome wound in her neck.

Half of Kame House blew away as he transformed up, along with half her soldiers. He hadn’t felt this kind of power since the Majin transformation.

“ _Vegeta, be careful!_ ” Goku’s voice scolded from inside his head. He turned to look for the man automatically, only to find 18 holding Future Bulma and ‘Krillin’ under her arms.

Ah, of course. He should probably think things through more thoroughly before reacting in a room full of fragile humans.

“ _Now we can’t ask her where she came from!_ ”

“We know where she came from,” Bardock said, apparently also in on the broadcast. He twisted the neck of the last surviving soldier, thinking that this lot needed to pay more attention.

“ _Get… get someone to wish me back please_.” Goku's voice faded, and he didn’t continue. Vegeta tensed, but knew he could only worry about what was going on in front of him for now.

“Bulma, can you inspect the tech and let us know what we can do with it? The suit lets her time travel to the ‘headquarters’ universe, the guns are dangerous enough to kill a Super Saiyan, and the coating on their equipment reflects the blasts,” he said all at once.

Bulma stared at him blankly, looking pale. She flinched away when he approached her with concern.

“Bulma, that version of you just shot Kakarrot. He’s not going to do anything to hurt you,” Bardock said, finding himself worrying about their blue haired genius.

“Right,” she mumbled. “It’s just a shock to see myself die like that. I guess I can kind of appreciate how much you held back your anger at my insults and prodding.”

Vegeta just shook his head slowly. “This is why the rest of the little gang thought you were crazy, woman. They knew what I could do. And so did you.”

“I don’t think I really did,” she replied faintly.

He leaned down to put her back on her feet when she threw up. All over him.

“Sorry,” she murmured with a hand over her mouth. “All I can smell is blood.”

Vegeta backed away from her. His left leg and foot were covered with the stuff. Bardock had made his kills cleanly, so he took her out of the house.

Vegeta turned, still riled up about what had happened, and feeling more powerful than ever. He took off his shirt before the stench got to him, and blasted into the sky. He was able to feel Gohan and Trunks fighting a Cell, and they weren’t faring very well.

* * *

 18 groaned as she flopped to the ground, Krillin taking care of himself for now. She sighed when she saw Kaioshin was dead too. He sat at what was left of the table with his head in his hands.

Goku’s father stood just 'outside' with one hand on his hip, and the other clicking the button of his scouter. She looked down and glared at the hole in her chest. That was where the bomb used to be. She was glad it wasn’t anymore. _Thank you, Krillin_.

“What’s happening?” she asked. She had never been as good as the others when it came to natural Ki work.

“Vegeta seems to be kicking ass,” he replied, not sounding entirely sure himself. _ERROR_ flashed across his screen whenever he tried to read either of them. It looked like Bulma had fixed that little exploding bug, at least.

“Yes, he is. I suppose I should go to Namek to communicate the wish before I get wrenched back to Otherworld,” Kaioshin said with a resigned sigh before vanishing.

“Well,” 18 said in the awkward silence. “I’m going to start salvaging the house and looking for the others.”

Bardock nodded and turned to the corpse he was standing next to. He pulled the suit off her, not appearing at all bothered by the gore. That was a pure blooded Saiyan for you.

He wiped the blood around the collar off on his leggings before putting it down in front of Bulma. “There are coordinates programmed into this. Find out what they are.”

She nodded meekly as he dropped the few tools they had left in front of her.

18 turned when Bulma burst into tears a few moments later. “I can’t do this! I can’t get anything right!”

18 wanted to say something, but knew her presence could very well just send the woman further into shock. She turned away and shoved half the staircase aside to find Roshi. “If you try to thank me by touching my boobs again, I will kill you.”

* * *

 

Goku came back to awareness on King Kai’s planet, scrabbling at the hole in his chest. He let out a sigh of relief when he realised he was still in one piece. In one dead piece maybe, but…

His thoughts trailed off when he saw a Saiyan woman standing with her back to him. Her hair was exactly like his, and a quick search of his new memories confirmed that this was probably the life he had been borrowing.

She seemed to notice she was being watched and turned to face him. “Where are we?” she asked, trying to cover her fear. Her face was drawn and aged beyond the 25 years at which she had died.

Goku stood and gestured. “This is King Kai’s planet, um, the god above Kami I guess.”

“What’s going on? You are me? Or my father?” She folded her arms, protecting herself. “I have flashes of what’s going on, but it’s too infrequent for me to figure anything out.”

“I am you, in a different universe. I hope you don’t mind, but I’m using your life force so I can stay in the living realm. Well, except for the part where I got us killed again.” He scratched his head. “We can wish you back once this is all over with though.”

The woman shook her head. “No, take what you need. Earth is gone and I don’t want to go back to the Saiyans.” She seemed to relax a little once she realised he wasn’t a threat. She dropped her arms and Goku put his hands on her shoulders.

“When we wish you back you can live on my Earth for a while. Maybe you shouldn’t stay with Master Roshi though.”

“We’ll see,” she muttered.

Goku moved to hug her, but his arms closed on empty air. He opened his eyes, confused, but then realised his halo was gone.

_I’m still here, let’s go._

“Right!” he exclaimed before honing in on Lucky Bulma’s energy.

When Goku arrived in heaven, Bulma was already having a screaming match with Roshi’s sister. “Well where’s my damn one day? They need me right now!”

He smiled to himself. This made his job a whole lot easier.

“Yeah Granny, give Bulma her twenty-four,” he added. “This is it, we’re so close to putting an end to all this.”

“You don’t understand, the more we mess around with this, the closer we get to waking him up.”

“Wake who up? Who do you all keep talking about?” Goku asked, recalling when Kaioshin had said something similar.

“The Administrator,” she replied, rubbing the crystal ball. It showed them a giant man with dark brown hair and darker skin. “He has been asleep for millennia and his only responsibility is to keep the universe from decaying before its time. ALL dimensions of it.”

“Then why don’t we wake him up and ask him to deal with the leader?” Goku asked.

“You don’t understand! He solves problems by pushing the reset button.”

“Oh,” Bulma mumbled. “You mean he’ll cause another big bang?”

Baba nodded vigorously. “It seems destructive, but it’s really just the natural reset point.”

“Oh come on, I’m just a delicate human girl,” Bulma wheedled. “He won’t even notice I’m gone. And I can see my brains are needed.”

Baba sighed, knowing she would never get through to these obstinate people. “Oh fine then, do whatever you want!” she snapped, and suddenly Bulma had a proper body back, even though the halo remained.

“All right! Let’s go!” Goku cheered unrepentantly.

Bulma giggled and took his hand. “So nostalgic!”

* * *

 

Goku dropped Bulma off at Roshi’s before vanishing almost immediately to get back into the fight. He appeared next to Vegeta, who was in the middle of blasting a Cell into oblivion. The others were standing around a blackened crater of earth, panting heavily. A Cell was near them but did not seem to be hostile, so Goku ignored it, assuming that was 16.

He positioned himself while Vegeta distracted the last hostile target, and took a narrow yet sturdy hourglass stance. He breathed in sharply through his nose, and raised his arms to solar plexus level before exploding outward in stance, breath and most importantly Ki.

He used his heightened senses to ensure every last trace of the Ki was gone before turning to the others. He felt a little light headed and staggered sideways into Vegeta before asking, “That’s just 16 right?”

Boxer nodded and his Goku friend bounced on her toes excitedly. “Amazing! You have to show me that technique again!”

“Uh sure, another time. I think I went way overboard there.”

"Piccolo ran off at some point, but I guess he isn't much of a threat at present. Either way, there isn't time to deal with him," Boxer explained for the occupied fighters' benefit.

The others agreed and they took off, female Goku carrying Boxer princess style. Vegeta continued supporting Kakarrot, afraid he would fall out of the air if left alone.

“Are you all right Vegeta?”

“Am _I_ all right? You’re the one who died, you idiot!”

“Oh, good, love you too,” Goku muttered, squeezing his arm. “I told you your power level would take care of itself.”

Vegeta glanced away and they moved faster to catch up with the others again.

* * *

 

Bulma hummed and stretched, pleased with the progress she, and the guy who was apparently a version of her, had made in the last 15 hours. What a nerdy, goody two shoes!

But thanks to their efforts, the others would be able to get to the universe their enemy was occupying, slightly better equipped this time.

She stepped outside, letting the breeze on top of the Lookout brush against her face.

“Shhh!” she heard someone hiss. She glanced around, too curious to let it go. She turned around and looked up to see two very naked full blooded Saiyans getting it on.

“Oh my,” she said, blushing. “I suppose that is a lot easier when both people can fly. But somehow I always imagined you would be the one on top Vegeta.”

He face palmed and sighed, too turned on to feel the embarrassment at full force. “Shut up before you wake the whole Lookout!” he growled.

“Well,” she replied nonchalantly. “Let me know when you’re done because I’m only going to have a body for another nine hours.”

Goku lowered them to the ground despite Vegeta’s protests. “She’s right. We can do this later, you two can’t.”

“God damn it Kakarrot, you have got to be kidding me,” he said, voice clearly strained. Bulma knew better than anyone that he was getting close.

She grinned evilly. “Goku, can you take us all away from the Lookout?”

He looked at her, obviously surprised. “Well sure, but I thought you’d want to go with Vegeta alone.” She looked up at him questioningly and his face became red. “Not that I have a problem with participating.”

She walked around them and put a hand on Goku’s forearm. She winked at him and they vanished. “You know Goku, I always regretted getting with Yamcha instead of you, but I can only blame myself for being so shallow.”

“That would have been too weird,” Goku said bluntly, laughing.

Vegeta ground his teeth. “Can’t you two reminisce later?”

Goku glanced down at Vegeta, and Bulma found herself shiver at the look that flashed across his face. She wondered whether he had picked it up from Vegeta, or if it was just a Saiyan thing.

But friend-zoned or not, she could still enjoy the show. They kneeled on the ground to give Vegeta a break.

Bulma knelt in front of Vegeta and he glared at her, as if daring her to comment on the arrangement again. She cupped his face in her hands. “I’m glad you’ve found more to life than your ‘pride’,” she said, kissing him before he could respond, probably angrily.

They broke away quickly and Bulma hugged his head to her well-endowed chest. That was something she knew he’d miss if he was going to get with Goku.

He made a choking noise and shuddered, and Bulma knew he was done. “I missed you,” she said.

He sat up and enveloped her in his arms. She pressed flush against his powerful frame.

“I miss you, too.”

* * *

 

Goku woke slowly, trying to figure out who was murmuring on the other side of the room. He rolled over to see Bulma and Vegeta were spooning on the other bed. He looked up at the ceiling wondering whether he should leave them to be alone for the morning or if he should spend time with Bulma too.

Then again, getting a normal amount of sleep right now would be a good thing.

_Go see Bulma. I miss her_.

He sat up quickly at the voice, thinking that if anything he shouldn’t let his other self down. When he turned to look at the pair again, they had gone quiet.

“Um, how much time is left?” he asked hesitantly.

“About half an hour,” Bulma replied. She also sat up and smiled at him.

“Thanks for coming back to help us. It’s too bad you had to waste most of your time working, though.” He scratched his head, not sure what else there was to say in this kind of situation.

Her eyes gleamed. “Are you kidding me? That stuff was amazing! Why, if I’d have sat down and nutted out half of those concepts as a teenager…”

“You’d be just like the bitch who shot Goku,” Vegeta finished for her, shaking his head.

“What? Don’t you have any faith in me?”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re fine as you are now, but I never thought I’d be so glad you made friends with that soft-hearted idiot,” he said, waving a hand in Goku’s direction.

“Well, I guess you have a point,” she replied dismissively. “I’ll have to be the responsible one and protect you lot from myself.”

Before Vegeta could retort, Baba appeared in the room with her crystal ball. “Ten minutes,” she reminded.

“All right! I’ll put the coordinates into the machines so they’ll be ready to go when you are,” she added, jumping to her feet.

The two Saiyans followed her down the corridor and into the corner of the hall she had commandeered as her work space. Future Bulma was already there. She glanced up as they approached and nodded to acknowledge them.

“I thought I should put your work to use right away,” she explained to herself.

“Good idea, we need to hurry before anyone messes with the timeline again,” she replied, kneeling to take a look at the programming. She had several decades more experience than this version of herself, after all. “Now are you sure there isn’t anything else you need me to do before I go?”

“No, I guess we just need to finish manufacturing the vests and decide who is going in the time machines. We still need people to defend this plane of existence, after all,” Goku replied, referencing the material they had constructed.

It could absorb one direct blast of the gun her alternate self had invented. They didn’t have time to make the reflective material, and it would be too dangerous to continually reflect blasts back when they couldn’t cover their entire bodies in the stuff as well. She had also made them a gun jammer, but it only worked over a tiny radius at the moment. Still, it was much better than nothing.

“All right, everything looks fine, but I guess I’ll have to leave the rest up to you guys,” she said as she stood up. Vegeta watched her stuff what looked like a walkie talkie into her purse before turning to Baba. “I suppose I have to go back now, just in case someone notices puny me is wandering around.”

Baba nodded but didn’t bother to comment. Expecting these people to take a higher being seriously was asking a bit much, it seemed.

Bulma waved as she slowly vanished, making a ‘call me’ sign at Vegeta.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of forgot this wasn't rated E at the end, so I decided to dial things back a bit >.>


	7. Race to the Top

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if there are 1 or 2 more chapters to go just yet, but I'm sorry this one took so long to get out!

It wasn’t long before they were joined in the hall by the others. The warriors argued fiercely about who should go where for some time.

“It doesn’t matter how powerful the people who go are,” Bardock reminded. “But it does matter how powerful the people who stay are. My grandchildren and I can go while everyone else defends this place.”

“Yes, I wanna go!” Pan yelled, realising the other person he was referring to must be her.

Gohan was rather more reserved. “It just doesn’t feel right, not having Dad at the final conflict.”

“We might be going across dimensions, but this is all part of the same battlefield.” Surprisingly Vegeta seemed to be agreeing with Bardock this time. “I’m sure we’ll all see each other again in this dimension before this is over.”

Bardock nodded. It seemed he had had a vision to that effect.

They heard a jet arriving at the Lookout, and moved outside as a group to investigate. Pantee jumped out of the cockpit after she had opened up the back. “Special delivery!” she called out, waving.

They had ten sets of armour to go around. The vests covered all of their vitals, but they wouldn’t help that much if one of their limbs got hit.

The remaining senzu were distributed so that each time traveller had three, and the remaining fighters had two each. Not-Krillin, Future Bulma and Roshi also got one each, even though it was likely they would die before being critically injured.

Finally, Gohan and Pan jumped in one machine while Bardock got in the other. The sun was up high, and everyone was awake and properly prepared now.

“See you soon everyone,” Gohan said, trying to push Pan’s head aside so he could see them. However, there wasn’t anywhere for her to move to. She wasn’t a little girl anymore.

She waved enthusiastically enough for both of them as the machine’s top came down. The time travellers rocketed into the air and vanished.

Goku turned to Vegeta and the others. The non-warriors were able to fit into the few reflective suits that were still whole, so they would hopefully be safer this time.

“I can’t feel anything,” Not-Krillin said, “but Mobi is flipping out more than ever.”

Before Vegeta could answer with something about time machines, Goku grabbed the monk’s shoulders and spoke urgently. “What is your name in this life?”

“Oh, uh, you can call me Cheng,” he muttered, baffled.

“Cheng, Cheng,” he muttered to himself, nodding. “Keep your eyes open for us.”

* * *

 

Bardock leaped from his time machine right before it was blown to smithereens by the bright laser. “We don’t have time to play around!” he yelled at her.

Bulma peeked out from behind her desk and noticed the oaf that looked like Goku as his expression faltered. He knew a version close to her, then. Her frown deepened when she saw neither Vegeta nor Goku were present.

This was not turning out as she had expected _at all_.

“It’s you then,” she said, standing. There was no use in hiding. They were faster, stronger, and more numerous. Just one of these guns on their own couldn’t do much at all. “You’re the anomaly.”

“Obviously,” Bardock replied.

Bulma noticed Gohan put an arm out to hold back the girl beside him. His daughter he’d lived long enough to have, perhaps? She could see a calculating look in his eyes.

“ _How_ are you here? How can something so insignificant be throwing our calculations so far out of whack?” she demanded of Bardock.

“Do I look dumb enough to explain myself to you? I’m sure you have something lined up that can deal with an issue like me. You _almost_ had us in that Tyrant Bulma universe.”

She closed her eyes and smiled fondly. “Given how well I knew your son, yes, you look dumb enough. Thanks for the hint, though.”

“Bulma, I don’t understand. I have the memories of myself from this universe.” Gohan paused and started again. “Well, to be more precise, the universe before that divergent event. What are you doing?”

She sighed and turned away. “Biting off more than I can chew.”

* * *

 

Goku turned as he heard something land on the Lookout behind him. His eyes widened when he saw it was Bulma. He couldn’t feel any energy coming from her.

“Really?” 18 asked, walking around behind her with a wary stare. “I thought you’d avoid this after the Gero thing.”

“What can I say? Travelling through space and fighting Super Saiyans is a dangerous past time. I had to get stronger somehow,” she replied casually.

18 came back around in front of her and folded her arms, remaining silent.

“We had hoped the group would be split up a little more by now. But it’s come to this, so I guess I’ll have to take my chances and try to deal with you both myself.” Android Bulma stepped back into a narrow fighting stance.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Vegeta muttered, but Goku could see he was mildly disturbed.

“All right,” he said, raising his fists with a grin. “The only friend I could never fight!”

Bulma raised an eyebrow, failing to hide her shock. _Good one_ , Goku's alternate self thought.

“If you take this too lightly, you’ll die again,” Bulma replied sharply.

“You mean you’re not here just to hang out?” Goku asked, sounding sincerely shocked.

“What is that supposed to mean?” she demanded.

“It means,” Vegeta replied, coming out of his shock and catching onto Kakarrot’s idea, “you came here to remind us you exist. Isn’t that what this is all about?”

She hesitated before retorting. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

“Mum,” Trunks said softly as he landed next to Goku and Vegeta. The others were still patrolling, but none of them were able to sense an android. “Why don’t you just stay here?”

She clenched her fists. “I thought you would have noticed, but I am not your mother!”

He glanced in the direction of the room Future Bulma and Cheng were hiding in before continuing. “You’re very close, close enough. So what’s with all the conquest? I can understand desperately trying to figure out a way to reach another universe but… why all of the destruction and killing along the way?”

“I didn’t figure all of this out on my own,” she admitted. “I had to bargain for the help of the smartest me, and I was just lucky she found me when she did. And now, I have a debt to repay.” She charged what appeared to be a ki blast, but Vegeta suspected it was the same as what her rifles shot.

“Hey, hey, wait a sec,” Goku said, holding up his hands. But she was already firing and flying into the air. “I said wait! We killed that Tyrant version of you!” he called as a now Super Saiyan Vegeta wrenched him out of the way.

The robot’s eyes lit up at this news and she grinned. “Hah, now is my chance to take all that was hers!”

* * *

 

“So, I started making robots and playing with artificial intelligence. I was so lonely, I couldn’t bear it,” Not Quite Future Bulma explained. “I thought the easiest thing to practice with would be trying to program my own personality. Then I could start trying to reconstruct versions of the others. But, well, let’s just say my calculations were incorrect.

“She took over the operation. She tried to replace me. And now, she’s confident enough to take on Goku of your universe.”

Pan frowned, glancing between the other three. She didn’t know about the Cell incident or the alternate universe in any detail. Her father had never liked to talk about it much.

“How much of your army is left?” Bardock asked, and Bulma knew it was a collective ‘you’.

“Plenty, but we still haven’t delivered time machines to them.”

“Gee, I wonder why,” Bardock snarked, glancing back at the twisted black lump that they had worked so hard to procure.

“Seriously though,” Gohan added. “This is perfect. All we have to do is head back to our universe, defeat the android you, and then stay put. Everyone else is cut off from us, no one else can time travel, and everything works out fine!”

“Yeah, I know Gohan. I’ve been working toward this for years. It was the defeating the robot part I was having problems with.” She finally put the gun down and approached them. “The problem is that I don’t have another time mach- eek!”

Her calm demeanour shattered when Kaioshin appeared in front of her. Clearly he had been wished back at some point. Gohan mentally noted that this meant they only had one ‘life’ left before they would have to fall back on Shenron’s ability to bring back everyone.

“No more time machines,” he said. “He is beginning to stir due to the damage bothering him. I refuse to make any more than one trip, so grab who and what you need. After that, no more!”

Bardock moved forward and grabbed Bulma’s upper arm, able to get behind this business-like attitude. Gohan and Pan held hands, Gohan putting his other hand on Kaioshin’s shoulder. “I guess we shouldn’t take the gun or the time machine, in that case.”

“But what if we need it to defeat robo-Bulma?” Pan asked. It only made sense that she would have built something like it into herself, and that her body would be able to withstand some attacks at such a level.

Bulma laughed at the nickname before seeming to remember the company she was in. “She can withstand the blasts, you’ll need something more powerful.”

Gohan and Bardock shared a worried glance before Kaioshin transported them back to the Lucky universe.

* * *

Vegeta let go of Goku as they hovered below the android Bulma. The three of them panted for breath lightly, but no one had been significantly hurt. Yet.

A ringing snapped Vegeta from his focused state, and he glanced down, remembering the phone that had been sitting in his pocket for the last few weeks. Somehow it had managed to survive everything so far.

He floated backward and took it out purely out of curiosity. He glanced at the screen to see the caller ID was Lucky Bulma, and was somehow not at all surprised.

“What? No, scratch that. _How?_ ”

“Your puny brain wouldn’t understand,” she snapped, before returning to business. “I’ve used the hole in the universe to create a portal from your time to Tyrant Bulma’s universe. Looks like the person you lot took out wasn’t her.”

“What?” he demanded, only glancing over his shoulder when he heard Goku cry out in pain. The moron wasn’t dead this time, so he continued the conversation.

“Yeah, if you don’t take her out, this is all just going to happen again. Kaioshin said he’s not allowing any more transportation between dimensions, but that isn’t going to stop her. I’m going to open you a portal onto her warship. Take her out, turn around, and pray the big guy doesn’t notice.”

“Wait, then who _did_ I kill?” He moved behind the Lookout and out of sight as the rest of the fighters in this dimension finally noticed what was going on.

“Oh, you know, just a clone. I guess you’ll also need to destroy her ship on this mission.”

“You guess? I thought you had a plan?”

“So I’m making it up as I go along! It’s better than what anyone else has managed so far!”

Vegeta just smiled and laughed quietly. “Your plans always were the best.”

“Well, that’s not hard when I’m competing with boneheads who want to fight everything,” she replied more gently. Just how apologies usually worked between them.

Vegeta grabbed Goku as he was knocked past him. “Listen to me, our Bulma is going to take me to Tyrant Bulma’s universe so I can destroy her and all her clones. Given that will involve blowing up a space ship, I might not come back.”

“No,” Goku predictably rejected the idea, “there has to be another way.”

“There isn’t time for that now! Just make sure you get rid of that while I’m gone,” he added, pointing to Android Bulma. She was keeping most of the fighters back through fear of her deadly lasers alone.

Goku started forward to defend the others, but halted and glanced back. “Don’t die.”

“It’s a bit late for that, isn’t it?” he replied before rocketing off toward Bulma’s dimension bridge. He felt some relief when Goku wasn’t stupid enough to try and stop him again.

“I’m sending you some schematics now, but I’m sure you’ll be able to identify the best way to blow the ship if worse comes to worst. Even if you do die, you’ll be sent to that dimension’s afterlife. We can pick you up from there once this disaster is over.”

“I understand,” he replied, approaching the haze on the horizon.

“Good luck.”

Vegeta had never really understood the phrase, but he didn't feel his usual contempt for it this time.

“I’m going to need it.”


End file.
